A View from the Parke Bench

My Best Christmas Present Ever

2011-12-23T21:03:00.000-07:00

I was asked to speak in church this past Sunday. I may as well been told the end of the world was near. You see, I don't particularly like to talk in church, but I do it anyway. Kind of a type of self torture, I guess. But I told this story in my talk and decided that it would make a good blog post. And since I haven't written a whole lot lately I figured I would post what I have written. So to those of you who didn't have to hear me in person, you get to read it minus my shaky chipmunk voice and trembling hands. And to those of you who suffered through it already, I'm sorry and God bless you.

When I was growing up our family had a paper route which had to be completed every day, even on Christmas. I should say especially on Christmas, as the papers were very large due to the fact that they were stuffed with the ads for the sales to occur the following day.

The massive amounts of ads caused the paper to be delivered in two parts requiring us to assemble the paper before trying to stretch a wimpy rubber band around the massive girth of those Christmas papers. Needless to say, many a rubber band broke making the delivery process even more tedious and lengthy.

Oh, how I loathed delivering those papers on Christmas morning.

It wasn’t just the process of getting the papers delivered, but the fact that we couldn’t open any packages or see any of our Christmas until all of the papers were done. The time came that the paper route became my responsibility after being passed down through all of my brothers and after 6 years of helping, I would be delivering the Christmas morning papers alone.

I dreaded the very thought.

Christmas morning came and I could hear my parents upstairs rustling around and I knew that soon they would be coming for me. So true to the lazy teenager that I was, I pulled my covers up closer around me, clinging to the warmth and comfort that my bed offered and quickly drifted back to sleep.

When I woke up some time later, knowing that my parents usually woke us around 6:00, I put off looking at the clock not wanting know the minutes left before the impending doom would occur. And that’s when it dawned on me that the light beyond my closed eyelids was a little too bright for 6am. I stole an glance at the clock- it was 9:06! The papers were late!

I rushed upstairs questioning my mom along the way.

“Where are the papers? How come you didn’t get me up sooner?”

My mother just smiled and said, “Merry Christmas! We got you a sub.”

Over the years, I have been asked about the best present I have ever received and to this day it remains the time my parents arranged a sub on Christmas morning for my paper route. This gift was nothing concrete that I could hold in my hands and only lasted the length of a morning, but the feeling and sentiment behind what others hands had done for me that morning has stuck with me for the last 20 years.

Back From Black

2011-12-20T22:48:00.001-07:00

It has taken me over a month to get this post written due to computer complications (who knew a little light bulb could cause such a ruckus) and it isn't even what I really wanted to convey to you. But honestly, those feelings are hard for me to put into words. By the time you get to the end of it, I hope you understand and forgive me.

If the whole wedding reception tradition hadn't been so formal when I got married, I would have had two Bridesmen along with my Bridesmaids standing in the reception line. One of them would have been this guy, my friend, Digger.

Obviously, Digger is not his real name, but it is what he has gone by as long as I have known him and he still answers to it today. He is one of my best friends from high school who let me drag him to early morning Seminary Morningsides and kept Mr. Trimble's Spanish class, down right bearable. He could make me smile on the worst of days and took me to Senior Cotillion, when my R.M. boyfriend (Richard) had no interest in attending a high school dance. Although, I know Digger would have rather taken the girl that is now his wife.

But that life seems like a hundred lifetimes ago before we traded in the responsibilities and fun of high school for those of grown ups with families of our own.

Over the last three months, as I have gotten my children settled in to a new school year, Digger has watched as doctors at PCMC settled his little girl, Gracie, into a medically induced coma. As I have shuttled my kids to and from basketball, football, and other lessons, he has watched as Gracie has been shuttled to and from the operating room for various procedures to stop or slow down the seizures that have taken hold of her little 9 year old body. Over the last month, as I woke my children to each new day Digger and his wife, Mindy, have wondered if this would be the day they saw their daughters eyes again as the doctors brought her slowly out of the coma.

Sometimes life seems really unfair.

I want to tell you Digger and Gracie's story because of a video I saw the other day. It was delivered to our inbox from a radio talk show host that we regularly receive mass emails from. It was a video where a toddler, about the age of two, is hit by a delivery van in a Chinese marketplace and how many minutes elapse before anyone helps the crying baby. It was honestly, the most horrific thing I have ever seen. The horrifying part not being seeing that child cry out in pain, but to watch 18 different people walk or drive by, obviously notice the child and not do ANYTHING! I didn't, because I couldn't, watch the whole thing.

The talk show's host intent on sharing the video was to show what living in a communistic country, under heavy rule by the government in all aspects of their lives, does to the charitable and basic humanity of its inhabitants.

I guess he got his point across because I started to think about Digger's little Gracie, her situation and how the people of the communities in Utah (and I'm sure other places as well) have handled it. Here is a little girl and her family who have spent over 100 days in Primary Children's in the fight of their lives, just like the toddler laying in the street. This fight has taken a heavy toll on their family- both emotionally and financially. Instead of walking by and hoping that the next guy will do something many people, some that know Gracie and even more that don't, have stopped to give aid to a girl and her family in need.

People have organized and carried out a 5K and carnival with enough participants to catch the media's eye. Neighborhoods have held yard and bake sales. Friends and family have participated in special fasts. Restaurants have held dinners in Gracie's honor and donated the profits. Accounts have been set up where annoymous donations can be made. It has blown me away to see how people have stepped up and poured out all kinds of charity simply because of the goodness of their hearts.

This is the world I am thankful to live in.

A world where, thanks in part to those friends and strangers who have not only supported Gracie financially, but also with positive thoughts and prayers, she opened her eyes after 11 weeks in a coma on 11/11/11. And now a month later, she has been moved out of the ICU to a Neuro Unit and is making miraculous strides in her rehab and recovery.

Isn't it amazing what a little compassion, coupled with hope and prayer can do? It saddens my heart to think of children living in worlds where compassion is crushed by the fear of "getting involved" and hope and prayer are nonexistent in a God-less society. Now I know the video is not indicative of all Chinese people as a whole, so here is my hope and my prayer that the baby laying in the street was afforded a miracle, just like Gracie .

Kid-isms

2011-11-05T10:23:00.000-06:00

*The pictures in this post are courtesy of my old laptop and my very first digital camera- which by the way, leaves a lot to be desired, since my good laptop and all recent pictures that have been captured are in the shop. Again.*

Dallin Said...

"I don't like this closet...it's weird. It stares at me."

The Sunday morning before the Primary Program Presentation- "I have my faith filled boxers on, so I'm going to be just fine."

"I don't think it's cold enough to get ammonia yet..."

"My bladder's gettin' ANGRY!"

Boxer Boy?

"Mom, you know what? Cleats are like high heels."

"If Orcs come to the U.S. I'm gonna join the Army with my cross bow and take those suckas out!"

"Mom, we should get an emergency kit in the car."
"That's a good idea, Dallin."
"Yeah, we should put things in it we might need like bottled water, food, deodorant, blankets, flashlights...."

Look at those brown eyed boys loving their new sister who would end up with their same beautiful color of eyes.

Dallin's comment after the large mirror that hung in our living room was broken recently and taken down- "Mom, I miss that mirror because now I can't just sit and look at myself..."

Ben-isms

To Richard while he's handing out foreign money to the kids for their collections after returning from a business trip to the Philippines, with stops in Tokyo & Hong Kong- "Come on! That's only ten cents in Japateens."

"You know what kind of meat is my favorite? That kind of chewy, Chinese meat, that almost chokes me. It is soooo good."

What real happy nappers look like.

"Dad, do you get money for your job?"
"Well, yeah."
"Oh. I thought you just got hotel points."

Ben appears in the kitchen dressed in nothing else but his underwear. With his chest puffed out and his hands planted firmly on each hip he declares- "I'm underwear boy and I feel POWERFUL!"

Ben- "Let me be the baby."

Ben turns to me after about 10 minutes of nice Saturday morning cuddling and says, "I love to cuddle with you, Mom. Especially since you don't seem to mind I keep farting on you."

And one for all of the Parke family who read my blog-
"Dallin's going to be on the weird side of the family....like Uncle Jim."

A joint effort by Dallin & Ben at writing lyrics for a song-
When you're sitting on the john
and all the paper's gone,
be a man......use your hand.

Perfection at rest.

And last of all, how do you know when you use coupons maybe a little too much? When you are driving home from a shopping trip at Wal-Mart where you bought some Halloween decor along with your normal groceries and your 4 year old asks, \
"Mom, did you have a coupon for that Halloween stuff?"
"No."
"Then why did we buy it?!"

I Byte

2011-10-19T18:04:00.001-06:00

All of my trouble started with a virus that hijacked my laptop and held it hostage for 3 days. Fortunately, it wasn't anything that a simple system restore couldn't handle....or so I thought. Because of a series of events in the last 3 months, I think that virus didn't only invade my laptop, but myself as well. You see, at my house we have a new solution if ever anything that runs by electrical current won't work or isn't working correctly, and it goes something like this, "Did Mom touch it?" If the answer is "Yes" then you have your solution. It is either broken for good or broken badly enough that it will cost you a significant amount of money to make it ever work again.

Apparently, I have the touch of death for any and all electronics. Take a look at my list of casualties:

-Laptop fan
-Left front turn signal
-New cell phone
-Left rear turn signal
-Van automatic door latch on passenger side
-A crashed hard drive... for which I weep. Nothing was recoverable. In the technicians words "it is fried". A company in California tells me that they have a clean room where they can open it up, take the platforms out and retrieve the information for $755 for jpeg files and up to $2800 for any other files. (Sniff, sniff.) And yes, it had to die the day I had the external hard drive out ready to back up files.
So the lesson learned through this ordeal is for all of you procrastinators (like me) out there, I suggest you take the route I did and shell out $59/year to Carbonite. $59 beats $2800 any day and the best part is that I don't even have to think about it.
-Van door signal. Try driving around for 3 days with that constant "ping, ping, ping" ringing throughout the confined space of a car- I about drove up the road to the State Hospital and committed myself.
-Playroom DVD player.
-The replacement DVD player for the previous playroom DVD player.
-E-reader
-Van radio
-Refridgerator ice maker. It is amazing what a misplaced plastic bag can do. Just trust me on this one.
-Richard's ipod touch
-One of our phone handsets
-And this weeks victim, my good lap top's screen.

I wish I knew what a system restore for me would entail. I'm sure it involves an exotic location, lots of down time, and large quantities of delicious foods, so in other words, it's out of the question. But seriously, this is getting to be ridiculous, not to mention expensive, and I'm running out of ideas to cope with my new condition.

Do you think the Amish would take me?

PS- I am not liable for anything that may happen to any electronic devices used in the commenting on this post. Please, comment at your own risk. ;)

Scout Camp

2011-08-08T10:09:00.000-06:00

Last week, Ashton went to Camp Tifie to attend Scout Camp for the first time. Like a good mama, I helped him pack a change of clothes and underwear for each day, a towel, wash cloth and soap, various treats and snacks, and $30 in cash for items he needed from the Trading Post. Would you like to guess what came back virtually untouched after being gone for six days of camping?

I'll give you a hint- it wasn't the the cash or the snacks.

FYI- Boys are gross.

I love this photo of the Menagerie. All personalities on display.

All Thumbs

2011-08-01T11:22:00.000-06:00

Two Thumbs Down- For those whom celebrated Pioneer Day by enjoying what had to be a mighty impressive display of fireworks in the church parking lot and leaving the mess behind.

Two Thumbs Up- For the youth who stepped up with rakes and brooms in hand and spent a good portion of a summers afternoon, on hot asphalt, sweeping up a mess they did not make.

Two Thumbs WAY Up- For those who were in such a hurry to help that they showed up without shoes! They swept that blistering asphalt until they couldn't stand it and then borrowed shoes that were sizes too small from a younger brother and mom so that they could finish the job.

Two Thumbs Way Up & Bless the heart- Of this little one who wanted to help and hurried so fast that this is the way she showed up to help...

Now that is dedication.

Fourth of July Photo Shoot- Our Caboose

2011-07-27T22:30:00.002-06:00

When I found out I was expecting our fourth child I was terrified. Not terrified about childbirth or any of the normal things that usually trouble pregnant women. No, I was terrified because what if it was another boy? I love my boys- don't get me wrong, but at the time, I just didn't know if I could handle another one.

We had just made an international move from a place that we loved to a place we weren't sure we would end up loving just as much. We had purchased a home, accomplished various improvement projects, finished the basement, replaced all of the flooring, and painted until I couldn't see straight. All of this we did within six months of moving back to Utah.

I was tired...and pregnant on top of that.

It was time to have another baby that much I knew deep down, I just wasn't very excited about it like I had been about the others. My only hope was that I would have a girl.

At our ultrasound appointment I was sure the technician was going to tell us it was going to be another boy- 99.9% sure, so when she announced it was a girl I about went into shock. Apparently, I wasn't the only one. Ashton got really upset and started saying nasty things like the boys were going to pull her hair and lock her in the crawlspace. We managed to leave the office without DCFS being called and it hit me again- I was going to have a girl!

I was relieved. I was elated. I was back to being terrified again.

I had three brothers and no sisters. I have three boys. I have always naturally gotten along better with boys than girls. Boys were easy, girls on the other hand....well, honestly, I didn't know much about girls- even though I am one! But I needed to find out quick because we were going to get a girl even though I kept asking myself, "What would we ever do with her?"

Well, almost four years, and one beautiful baby girl with big soft brown eyes later, I still ask myself questions regarding what we should do with her- only now the questions have changed slightly. Now I ask myself, "What would we ever do without her?"

Photographs by Backroads Photography

Fourth of July Photo Shoot

2011-07-26T18:23:00.003-06:00

Ben wasn't the only one in our family who had the opportunity to get in on the fun at the Fourth of July photo shoot, in fact, the whole family had a chance to get in on the action...

Including my parents, who were down visiting for the holiday.

One of the things I love most about Jason's style of photography...

Is his ability to capture my kids how they really are...

Or a look of how they used to be...

And sometimes, perhaps, how they long to be again.

Now tell me, what is better than that?

Belated Birthday Wishes

2011-07-24T22:02:00.003-06:00

I love the month of July.

Not the sticky heat of summer or the mosquito laced nights that July brings, but the reverent and patriotic feeling for the country that I love that garners the hearts, homes, and streets of our nation.

And in Ben's case, his face.

Happy Birthday America!

I'm a little late, but better than never.

Thanks to Jason at Backroads Photography for the idea of such a fun photo shoot and, of course, for sharing the fantastic images captured from it.

How I Stack Up

2011-07-23T00:08:00.000-06:00

Can I tell you that going camping generates a lot of laundry? And can I also tell you that so does being gone the week before at Girls Camp? Especially when you come home to find the one load of laundry that had been started still sitting in the washer...two days later?
Yeah....

We've been inundated with dirty laundry here at the Parke home.

More so than usual.

The other day I decided to hit it hard and plow through as much as I could. In between loads I was running children back and forth between various lessons, so the loads came out of the dryer into a giant mound just outside the laundry room door waiting to be folded and put away later.

After about 3 loads, the mound was starting to look like a small mountain and it got me thinking. So I asked Richard if he thought I could get the mound to be as high as I am tall...a whopping ~~5 foot 3 1/2 inches,~~ let's just round that up to a massive height of 5'4".

Richard laughed and told me the stack would topple before it would reach that height.

The challenge was issued.

I was up to the challenge.....

....or should I say that about 3 or 4 loads later the challenge was up to me?

It's the little accomplishments in life that make me happy.

I know they will be a wrinkled mess, but I like to think of it more like my family will just be showing off the wrinkles of my success.

If they don't like the wrinkles of my success, they can learn to iron.

And, no. That is not the end of my laundry quandary. There is still plenty more where that came from.

Seriously, who needs a service project?

Where Sasquatch Really Come From

2011-06-30T19:41:00.001-06:00

It had been a long day and it was barely six in the evening. I had already been up for over 12 hours and a jam packed 12 hours they had been. It started with setting up and then holding my first yard sale from which we went immediately into the season's last T-ball and Coach pitch games. From there a hurried hour drive took us to a baby shower for my niece Katie, who is expecting her first bundle of boy in September.

After basking in Katie's pregnant glow and gorging ourselves with lemon bars & various brownies, we pulled back onto I-15 to make our way home with a clear docket for the rest of the night. With the radio playing some of our favorite songs we settled in for the ride and I found myself lost in the hypnotic turning of the wheels when from behind me a chant began,

"PU-BER-TY! PU-BER-TY! PU-BER-TY!

At first, I wondered if I was so tired that I might actually be dreaming, but after stretching and shifting in my seat, the chant continued,

"PU-BER-TY! PU-BER-TY! PU-BER-TY!"

I concluded I was very much awake.

My next thought went to the possibility of the 5 Hour Energy shot I downed earlier and the Diet Coke I was currently sipping had created an overload of caffeine and was causing some sort of auditory hallucination. Because really, how would my almost seven year old know the word puberty? And why, in heaven and earth, would he be chanting it?

Certain my ears were deceiving me, I turned to Ashton sitting in the passenger seat wearing an amused look on his face as he shattered my theory.

"You know he's chanting puberty..."

Figuring I had to say something I decided on the blunt facts.

"Ben, you don't even know what puberty is."

The chanting ceased. Silence ensued. Wonderful, non-questioning silence.

Until Dallin in the far back decided to chime in.

"What is puberty, Mom?"

My mind shifted into high gear as I noticed Ashton stiffen a little in the seat next to me.

I decide to go with blunt facts again.

"It's when between the ages of 11-14 when your voice gets deeper and you start growing hair on your face, under arms and swimsuit area."

Agonizing groans erupt from the very back seat.

"Oh, NO! That should be illegal!"

Laughter from Ashton beside me.

Ben innocently asks, "So puberty is all about hair?"

Dallin, having suddenly become an expert, answers with, "Yep! Hair, hair, EVERYWHERE! Puberty pretty much changes you into a Sasquatch."

I turn the radio up a little louder and figure that would suffice....at least, for now.

Homecoming

2011-06-27T00:05:00.000-06:00

I heard the keys in the door shortly after 8:00 a.m. I ran down the stairs and threw the bolt back. There, after spending a week in a typhoon and tropical storm ravaged Philippines, stood Richard- exhausted, jet lagged, and wanting nothing more than to go to bed. But there were the little people. Little people who had a week full of adventures to fill daddy in on. Little people who talk a mile-a-minute and crawl all over daddy like a jungle gym. Little people simply bursting with excitement that daddy is home.

I think it wore them both out.

I'm so glad when Daddy comes home

Glad as I can be

Clap my hands and shout for joy

And climb upon his knee.

Put my arms around his neck,

hug him tight like this.

Pat his cheek and give him what?

A great big... NAP!

A Few More...

2011-06-16T20:47:00.003-06:00

Just a couple of Kid-isms that recently happened and one that I forgot in the last batch.

Ben- "I wish I had really long, puffy hair."
Me- Why in the world would you want really long, puffy hair?"
Ben- "Cause then I'd have a built in pillow."

Ben trying out what really long, puffy hair would be like with Richard's travel pillow.

A conversation with Dallin after he listened to me tell a neighbor about a time Ashton got lost and I thought he'd been kidnapped.
Dallin- "I remember when that happened. I must have been really little, but I still remember it."
Me- "Sorry, dude, you weren't born yet. You were still in my tummy."
Dallin- "Well, then I must have been watching through your belly button 'cause I remember it!"

A bit of info you need to know about this next one- I am not a fan of the really tight T-shirt trend. They are all well and fine if you have the figure to wear them, which about 90% of the population do not- including myself. I don't really want to look at my own rolls and bulges and figure that more than likely, no one else does either. So the majority of my shirts are loose and probably unfashionable, but I don't care. The other day I pulled out my flag T-shirt to try on; it's one of the clingier shirts I own, but I was feeling pretty bulge free and thought it was loose enough to get away with .

I thought wrong.... according to Emma.

Emma- (While patting my tummy) "You look like you're going to have a baby!"
Me- "Are you saying I'm fat?"
Emma- "Yep, really, REALLY fat!

I guess I need some more core work and a new flag shirt.

Or perhaps just a new daughter.

Just kidding...kind of. ;)

Kid-isms

2011-06-07T00:46:00.001-06:00

If you are reading this then my gamble was successful. I have been experiencing technical difficulties with my computer that involve weird noises and smoke! Obviously, I have been hesitant to use it, and have been using my e-reader for the majority of my electronic communication. But, as amazing as it is, it can't do everything (or at least very well) so if I successfully post these few kid-isms you'll know that my computer worked without creating a campfire in my lap!

Yeah, I'm still going to have it checked out. Sorry, no smores for you.

Dallin Said...

"We had a substitute in library today, so we went outside and drew pictures with sidewalk chalk. But she wouldn't let us write words- not even Jimmer or BYU, so I just drew a bunny with 2 chainsaws."

"Dad, did they even have cars in Spain when you were on your mission?"

"Mom, I need a picture of myself to put in my room."

Ben-isms

While hiking up the mountain on the trail to the 'Y'- "Why don't they get rid of all these rocks?"

*Singing what he learned in Primary* "Praise to the Man who commuted with Jehovah..."

Emma's Three Sense

"I think Daddy should be the prophet when he grows up....no, no, the ice cream man!"

Emma: "Have you always been a mommy?"
Me: "No. I became a mommy after I grew up and married daddy."
Emma: "And then you moved here and I came to your porch?"
In my head- "Yeah, something like that. Something just like that...

Serenade of Support

2011-05-15T21:31:00.002-06:00

Sometime in January, our family sat down to set some goals for the year just like we always do. I didn't have to think very hard of what I wanted to work on and I only had two goals in mind. First, to do better with my personal scripture study and prayers (this is #1 every year *sigh*), and second, to run Ogden's Half Marathon beating my time from last year.

As hard as number one seems to be for me to perfect, getting ready for number two has seemed like the most insurmountable of tasks this year. Thanks to schedules, weather, sickness, some right hip pain and a great big heaping dose of self doubt, training for Ogden has just seemed too big for me. But I've done it. I've put in my time. But over the last few weeks, as I have completed my longer runs, I have come to an awful realization- I won't reach my goal of beating last year's time. It hasn't been enough. I just can't get my pace where it needs to be.

I know...I hear you, "Oh WAH!" And yes, I know that I am lucky to be able to at least run it even if I'm not as fast as I would like to be. But I think that the human spirit has this innate desire to improve, after all isn't that why we feel compelled to set goals and make resolutions in the first place? So not improving is somewhat of a blow to me. This doesn't mean I'm not going to try my darnedest and hope that the downhill nature of the course and the adrenaline rush that race day brings won't provide some sort of miracle, but I'm not counting on it.

I love to run and I love that I get to run this particular race with my brother and his wife, even though, they leave me eating their dust. I also love getting to the home stretch, physically and mentally exhausted, and hear someone yell my name followed by some sentiment of support. It is an incredibly amazing feeling and makes the finish line come that much faster. This brings me to blow #2-

This little band, my little band, of cheerleaders won't be there at the finish line to cheer me on this year. There are other things going on at home Saturday that are more important for them to attend, which means I will also lose my biggest cheerleader (he will hate that I'm calling him that). So I was wondering if you would do me a favor. Would YOU come cheer me on?

Ha! I almost had you there, didn't I? I mean, I wouldn't discourage you from coming, but it is in Ogden about an hour and a half away, it starts at 7:00 am which is really early for a Saturday morning, and I realize that all of that is a lot to ask. Plus, I'm sure most of you are involved with some of the things that are keeping my own personal cheerleaders from coming.

So can I ask you to do me another favor instead? Would you support me by choosing a song to put in my play list that I will run to? It can be whatever you want it to be- just leave the title and artist in the comments section. It can be that song that really inspires you, the one with the really great beat that helps you clean the house when you really don't want to, or just whatever you would run to if you were running a half marathon. You've never run a half marathon? Well here's your chance. For 3 to 5 minutes, or however long your song lasts, you will be my sole running buddy and supporter.

Please, don't worry; I like pretty much any music, unless it is twangy-wangy-tear-in-my-beer country. Last year, I had Frank Mills playing The Music Box Dancer in honor of my parents and AC/DC's Thunderstruck, for my three older brothers with a little bit of everything else sprinkled in between. Believe me you can't go wrong because I believe that most of the magic that music holds is in the memories and the people it is associated with. So give me some awesome music to serenade me with support and let's go make us an incredible memory this weekend.

I'm A Sasquatch

2011-05-07T17:04:00.002-06:00

Photo Credit
Don't tell anyone... this was really me. ;)

I am abnormally hairy. It is just a fact of life and to prove it, I have had several instances through out my life that have done nothing but solidified this fact.

Instance #1- Since I was a little girl, whenever I have my hair cut the hairdresser has 99% of the time commented on how thick my hair is.

Instance #2- My brothers would play a game with me in Sacrament Meeting where I would sit between them and they would proceed to yank out my arm hair. The object of their game? To see who could get the biggest chunk of hair. My objective- not to scream bloody murder.

Instance #3- A little leg hair growing contest between me and a so-called "friend" in high school. Let's just say I lost a boyfriend due to the results. Yep, I had a forest on my leg, and the so-called friend had my boyfriend.

See? I am not follicular challenged in any way possible. In fact, couple the 3 above instances with the length of the hair on my head and I, am a plumbers nightmare. That is why I want to introduce you to this little gem-

I know it's one of those "Sold On TV" products and you're thinking, "Yeah right. Those things never work like they say they do." But I'm here to tell you this one does! It really, really does.

Our drains never drained like drains are supposed to drain ever since we moved into this home. I've plungered and dumped massive amounts of Liquid Plumber (and money) down the drain to no avail. Then one day, I was in Wal-Mart with my boys looking at Pokemon cards that happened to be displayed by all of these "Sold On TV" products, and there was the Turbo Snake, screaming at me to buy it and beat those stubborn drains once and for all! And only for the mere price of $9.99. I figured that was the same cost of another bottle of Drano, so what-the-heck, I'd be out the money any way.

At first, I didn't think the little plastic coated wire with a simple piece of Velcro on the end was going to do anything, but I stuck it down the drain anyway. I wiggled it around, stuck it in a little farther, and then pulled it up and out....with what seemed like the continent of Australia on the end! I won't gross you out with the gory details (Too late? Sorry.), but I will tell you to wear gloves and a mask, especially, if you have a weak gag reflex- you would not believe the goodies lurking down your drain!

So there you have it, a $9.99 re-usable miracle cure for clogged drains! If you haven't picked up your Mom a Mother's Day gift yet, this little treasure may just be your last minute saving grace. I am sure she'll love it, after all, this Sasquatch of a mom did.

It's All in the Family

2011-05-03T22:58:00.000-06:00

Something interrupted me in a deep sleep. Being a creature of habit, I glance at the clock- 1:42 a.m. A dark figure in the doorway poses me the question, "What now?"

Normally, dark shadowy figures standing in my doorway in the wee hours of the morning would have given me heart failure, but this figure didn't have the voice of a crazed maniacal serial killer, just the endearing voice of my 12 year old.

My mind considered his question, "What now?" and honestly, since it was almost 2 a.m. I thought, "How about going back to bed?" Instead, I think, I answered, "About what?"

"The rocket!" came the reply.

"The rocket..."

"It looked like a light bulb."

My head was reeling. Was it my half awake state or the cold medicine I had taken before bed that made this conversation so hard to follow and even harder to comprehend? I didn't get a chance to figure it out before the conversation continued.

"The rocket looked like a light bulb?" I had to ask.

"Yeah, and there's only one left."

I just sat there thankful the room was dark so he wouldn't see the confusion written all over my face. He jumped up on the bed and sat down, "So....what should I do?"

In my stupor I figured he was talking about either: 1- NASA's rockets or 2- His homemade rocket which consists of a film canister and Easter egg half glued on top and fueled by baking soda & vinegar, so I asked him point blank, "Are you talking about the government's rocket or your own?"

The irritated answer came as, "The government's!"

"Well, honey, if they are the government's rockets there's not much you can do."

He was quiet. My mind was trying to process everything in the ensuing silence and that is when it dawned on me...he was sleep walking and talking. He was taking after my side of the family!

I got him settled and back to sleep, but in the morning he could remember the last part of our bizarre conversation, so the questions began and the stories were told.

Stories that included those of my brothers mistakenly using the hamper as the toilet, how I got the scar on the right side of my forehead, and Richard threw in a few of the crazy things I used to tell him in my sleep as a newlywed. And of course, we had to tell the story to top all sleepwalking stories, about the night my brother, Nate, left the house, walked across our busy intersection to a friends home where he was dreaming he was to tell my other brother it was time to come home. Luckily, he woke up before he rang the doorbell. But the best part of the story? He did it all in his Yoda pajamas and bare feet.

So although, Ashton may have gotten Richard's eyes, sensitive demeanor, and intellect, I'm happy to know he got the fun DNA from me. I will sleep better at night knowing I have passed on something worth while. Well, after last night's little episode maybe that's not true, but at least, I'll have the laughs they produce to keep me comfortable while I'm awake.

Bad Habits and Best Outcomes

2011-04-26T23:21:00.001-06:00

I have a bad habit.

Okay....I have more than one, but for this story's sake we are only going to talk about one.

I have a bad habit...that deals with my husband's wallet. And no, it is not that I spend all of his hard earned money either. Although, that may qualify under the bad habit heading too, but we are not talking about that bad habit, we are talking about my bad habit of washing my husband's wallet. If I had a dollar for every time I have exercised this bad habit it would make up for all of his money I've frivolously spent.

Seriously. It's that bad.

I know- "JUST CHECK THE POCKETS!" I know, I know, I KNOW!!! And I do...most of the time. Then there is the rest of the time where you have a mountain of laundry staring you in the face and precious little time to make that mountain transform into clean, folded, ready to put away laundry, so you just start plowing though the loads as fast as you can; there is no time to lose in checking pockets. And then there are days like today.

I checked. I promise. I really did. But when the wallet hunt started I had an awful feeling of where it was going to end up. But I checked! I removed keys, tissues (gross! I might add), and even a hefty chunk of cash that I even honestly returned. I couldn't have missed the wallet filled with all of the receipts from Richard's recent business trips!? All of the receipts that have to be faxed in order for his corporate card to be reimbursed? No, I wouldn't have washed them, because I checked.

A peek into the washing machine told me different.

It looked like Mardi Gras with all of the confetti that littered the damp clothes- a confetti that consisted of receipt paper. I wanted to crawl under the washer and co-habitate with the dust bunnies that undoubtedly live there and I could have, since I felt about that tall. I was numb. I didn't know what to do. Before being pulled away with a call for work Richard put his arm around me and told me it wasn't my fault.

I continued to pick out pieces trying to find any that were big enough to be pieced together. Unfortunately, there weren't many. I felt awful. I felt sick. Richard came back and the arm went back around me as he quietly told me to stop what I was doing, that things would be okay, and that he loved me. Then he left to run an errand that prompted the search for the wallet in the first place.

I changed over the laundry and started dinner while confessing, via phone, the sin I had committed to my mom. Mid confession we were interrupted by the beep of call waiting- it was Richard inviting me out to dinner. Well, I figured that even sinners have to eat, so I readily accepted and ended up at Magleby's where we had a lovely dinner complete with creme brulee for dessert.

Now he could have been upset and ranted and raved, or worse, given me the silent treatment, which only would've have amplified the horrific failure I already felt that I was, but he didn't. Instead, we had an amazing evening. He felt bad that I felt bad. He realized that a true mistake was made and that true remorse was felt. And it was enough.

It may not be enough to pay his corporate card, but we'll worry about that when the bill comes. But for now, it is still enough.

Family Friend

2011-04-20T10:21:00.002-06:00

Our family has a special friend. He has been considered a part of our family since the Christmas of 1999. He has accompanied us on many family vacations, various special events, and even a random shopping trip or two. But mostly he is just there during, and yes, sometimes an accomplice to, the day to day mayhem that is the Parke household.

At times he has been a friend to one child more than another, but only because they needed him more right then. Currently, he has become a sort of sidekick for Benjamin. Heck, he practically spent every day in pre-school with him last year and has had the opportunity to get in a few Kindergarten lesson this year as well. It is a relief for me to know that someone can be there when Mom & Dad can't.

He's never intrusive, just supportive, while sporting a pleasant expression on his face, quietly watching from the sidelines. Yep, stalwart, silent, supportive, and I might as well add "stuffed" because as you can see our special friend is Bear, a big brown fuzzy teddy bear.

So when I tucked Ben into bed the other night and he whispered to me that the next day was Bear's birthday, I couldn't say no to throwing our good and loyal friend a surprise party.

Now you may think it is silly to throw a party for a child's favorite stuffy, but I think that this smile is worth all the silliness in the world. Don't you?

Plus, I'll use any excuse to indulge in some fabulous chocolate cake any day.

To Whom It May Concern,

2011-03-25T22:15:00.001-06:00

So......

You may have noticed that I haven't blogged in over a month. It's not because there hasn't been plenty to blog about because there has been. The little narrator in my head has still been blabbing away, but none of that rambling has made it here in print. I'm not blogging now to make excuses, just to give more of an explanation, of sorts.

My explanation is this: Frankly, My Dear, I......just didn't want to. Plain and simple.

When you combine the winter blahs that make me question if this is the year I visit the doctor and confess that I'm not even close perfect and need a little something something to help me deal with that fact and 3 separate and fantastically stubborn head and chest colds from the end of January to the first of March, I didn't want to do anything. Anything except perhaps diving into a vat of creamed butter and sugar and never coming up for air.

But the cold is starting to dissipate. The sun's appearances are becoming steadier. My running is more on schedule and a course of antibiotics has kicked those sinusitis germs to the curb. And best of all, I am finally starting to feel like doing anything again. So bring it!

My Valentine Secret Keeper

2011-02-15T21:31:00.000-07:00

Pillow Pets; Emma was given one for her birthday and the boys all received one from Santa for Christmas.

And lo and behold, since my nickname is Ladybug, I received one in the form of a ladybug for my birthday. The kids were so excited that I had one just like they did and that everyone in our family had one....except Dad. I asked them which animal would be fitting for Dad and as soon as the words left my mouth I knew the answer- the Bee.

His nickname happens to be Buzz, hence a Bumble Bee pillow pet would be perfect. So the plan was set- for Valentine's Day I would get Richard a Bee Pillow Pet, so he could be like the rest of the family.

And yes, he would love it, because what else do you get a man for Valentines? ;)

Saturday afternoon Emma and I left to do some grocery shopping and pick up the planned Valentine gift. Her eyes lit up with excitement as we checked out and I reminded her that it was supposed to be a surprise and not to tell Daddy about it. She readily agreed....until dinner.

She sat right next to Richard during dinner and somewhere between our heart shaped pizza and bread sticks she looked down the table at me and blurted out, "Mom, remember to not tell Dad about his Pillow Pet!"

I was dumbfounded.

In a disappointed tone I complained, "Emma! It was supposed to be a surprise!"

She replied as cool as ever, "I was telling you, Mommy. Not him."

I guess you can't argue with the logic of a 3 year old.

Then on Sunday morning when we arrived in the church parking lot, she leaned up between the two front seats and told him, "Don't look back here, Daddy. You'll see your Pillow Pet." All the while she was pointing to the back seat where the gift had been stowed for "safe" keeping.

The best part of it all is that she was oblivious she had completely ruined the surprise. In her eyes, she was doing everything to protect it.

Finally, Valentine's Day arrived and she just could not wait to give Daddy his "surprise". So after his Cream of Wheat, toast, and OJ served in bed she handed over a bag covered with pink and red glittery hearts and said, "Here's your Pillow Pet, Daddy. It's a Bee!"

And as Richard pulled it out she exclaimed with arms open wide,

"SURPRISE!"

I hope you had a wonderful Valentine's Day and that your surprises were as filled with laughter as mine turned out to be.

Facing the Inevitable

2011-02-13T21:30:00.000-07:00

Last Monday night Emma came downstairs to the kitchen where I was busily working on dinner. She very proudly showed me her 'My Little Pony' who was now sporting a mohawk and a thinned out tail.

I admired her work as I gave the lecture about using mommy's hair cutting scissors and gently reminding her that the pony's hair would not grow back. As I turned around to see if she was paying attention, I noticed the pony wasn't the only one who got a haircut.

Now as a mother I know that there are certain things that kids do through their course of childhood that you just have to expect, they are inevitable. Cutting their own hair is one of them.

I knew this was coming. I thought I knew how to handle it. I thought I was prepared to come away having impressed on her to never cut her own hair again without stifling her creativity and making her feel bad about herself. Well.....I thought wrong.

I failed.

Miserably.

Because I freaked.

Before I knew it those innocent (okay, not so innocent) brown eyes were brimming with tears and her bottom lip began to protrude and turn down at the corners. That pitiful face brought me back to my senses and I was able to calm her (and myself) down with some phrases about it being alright and that we can still make it pretty (which I probably should NOT have said). All of these phrases were, of course, more to convince myself- not her.

It really could have been worse. Most of what she cut will still pull back on top and what doesn't looks like intentional long bangs. So I think she didn't botch it as much as she could have and hopefully, the next time around neither will I.

Elvira and her Homie

2011-02-02T21:22:00.000-07:00

Last week Richard and I were asked to help with a "Where's Waldo" type activity for the youth in our ward. We were excited to help out especially since it was Ashton's first mutual activity to attend and it gave us the chance to dress up like Halloween in January. Our job was to dress up incognito and stroll the corridors of the mall. The youth were told that there were members of their congregation at the mall and their job was to find them and answer the questions they had.

Easy right?

Not so much.

Especially when they look like this...

And this...

Elvira and her 'Homie' were totally out of character for both Richard and I, but I think that was what made it so fun for us. Maybe, not so much for Ashton since this was his first mutual activity at the mall, with his friends and his parents show up dressed like a couple of goons.

The best part for Richard and me was walking past Ashton twice and he didn't recognize us. Richard worried that he wasn't disguised enough, but apparently he was.

I also got a kick out of the looks both the leaders and youth got on their faces when they recognized me. It was priceless.
I have to thank my friend, Julie, for the use of her wig. And just so you know, I will not be going 'dark' anytime soon. (You can now breathe a sigh of relief.)

So the next time you go to the mall be sure to look closely around at those walking past you, they may not be the strangers you think they are..... they may be even stranger.

Why Do We Spend The Money?

2011-02-01T18:59:00.000-07:00

As a parent it is natural to want to provide well for your child. You want to provide them with comfortable basics and some of the frivolous wants you weren't fortunate to have as a child. You work hard to give them what they need and worry that you aren't providing enough or the right things. But then you experience your first child's Christmas when they play more with the wrapping and box than the actual toy that came in it and you learn a valuable lesson and ask yourself, "Why do we spend the money?"

I found myself asking this very question last night as I went in to make a final check on the boys and found this...

Why spend money on a comfortable bed and mattress when a cheap cardboard box will do?

Feeling Like a Kid Again

2011-01-26T10:36:00.000-07:00

Growing up being the only girl with three older brothers wasn't easy, especially when they ended up with all the good teeth genes and I was left with this:

So after seeing a speech therapist for my tongue thrust and spending 3+ years of looking like this...

...I knew the uncomfortable, awkward, and not-so-cute world of braces. Especially since that world for me included head gear. Yes, the very unattractive, over the head, around the neck, looks like I'm a horse with a bit in my mouth, head gear.

But when it was all said and done it was worth it because I ended up with this:

A beautiful smile with straight teeth and no gaps.

Unfortunately, the orthodontists didn't know then what they know now about the length of wearing a retainer.(Or maybe they did and figured they would just get another paying customer in a few more years.) But I was told to wear it all the time for 6 months and then at night for a year. After that, I could be done.....until 20 years later when the gaps are reopening and the teeth have moved, making them out of alignment so that they wear wrong.

And I am back in braces at 34 years of age.

The top are clear this time.

But they are still a lot bigger than what they showed me on the little model in the office.

I thought the bottoms were going to be clear too.

They aren't.

They push my lips out making me look like I've had bad lip injections.

I can't smile worth a darn which just attracts more attention.

My hubby hasn't kissed me since I got them.

But that might be because I've had a cold.

At least, that is what I'm telling myself.

So I'm right back at that awkward, uncomfortable, and unattractive stage of life again.

And I get to pay for it this time.

Plus, my teeth hurt.

And my cheek gets caught on one of the brackets in the back making my cheek sore.

This makes eating almost anything difficult.

Except mushy stuff.

Like old people eat.

So I feel like a gumming geriatric.

Except I whine like a 2 year old.

Sorry.

Aren't you glad it's only for a year?

I am.

I think I can go that long without smiling.

It'll be good for my wrinkles.

Recitals

2011-01-24T16:16:00.000-07:00

As I see it part of a mother's job is to worry. And I am so happy about this job requirement because it is one I have down pat. I am seriously perfect when it comes to worry. So last week when Dallin had his first piano recital and Ashton had his guitar recital I was just fulfilling my role as their mother by worrying about it.

Dallin is shy, easily frustrated, and quick to tear up if that frustration doesn't disappear quickly- all the ingredients for a recipe of disaster when it comes to recitals. Especially first recitals. I knew he knew his piece "Frosty the Snowman," because it is all we have heard for the last 2 months in varying tempos and octaves. But I worried would it come off in front of a room of people, who with the exception of 5 family members and 2 friends, were complete strangers?

Then there was Ashton. He has taken to practicing in his room clear on the other side of the house from the kitchen and laundry room where I usually reside, so I can't hear him. I really had no idea how his piece was coming along except for 1 or 2 impromptu performances and no "Can you get him to practice more?" calls from his teacher. He said he was good, so what could I do but take his word for it.

And cross my fingers.

Here are their performances.

Turns out I really didn't need to worry that much after all.

What do you do...

2011-01-08T17:00:00.003-07:00

...when your husband is out of town on your birthday?

Well, first of all, you get beautiful flowers and a balloon delivered to let you know how sorry he is he can't be there.

Next, your awesome neighbor and girlfriend, Carrilyne, invites you over for lunch where you eat yummy finger foods and scrumptious mint chocolate chip cupcakes.

You also get packages in the mail that contain baggies of white powder...

...from your mother, who by the way is NOT a drug dealer, it just contains citric acid which happens to be expensive and the secret ingredient in your favorite Almond Punch recipe that you've been craving.

Many of your close friends and some not-so-close friends, take time out of their day to post that 13 letter well wish on your Facebook wall. You also receive e-mails from your insurance agent, the Coca-Cola Company (this should be a hint that you drink too much of their product), My Coke Rewards (another hint), Swag Bucks, and even a phone call from your life insurance agent who all wish you a Happy Birthday!

I'm sure they all genuinely mean it too.

You use the $20 your NOT-a-drug-dealer mom (even though she sends baggies of white powder that is costly and has to be purchased from a pharmacy) sent you to get take out from Panda Express so you don't have to make dinner.

Following picking up take out, you go with all of your munchkins to The Sweet Tooth Fairy Bakery where you each choose your favorite flavor of cupcake to prevent you from making your own birthday cake.

And last of all, because of all of this, you have a pretty FANTASTIC birthday!

Suck-ah!

2011-01-07T22:11:00.002-07:00

Who's the bigger sucker, me or the actual lollipop?

I'm sure the dentist will answer that question at our next check up.

25 Cents of Kindness

2011-01-04T18:14:00.001-07:00

When I was pregnant with baby number four and found out that it was going to be girl I was excited that she would be like me- the only girl with three older brothers. What I didn't realize was that I was also cursing her with the curse of torture that having three older brothers brings. Accidental as the incidents may be, they can still be considered torture.

When I was about Emma's age our family was to go swimming for Family Home Evening. In the excitement of doing such a fun activity swimsuits were gathered and everyone piled into the car where the door was slammed shut...on my hand...by my brother. Needless to say, we went for a not so fun activity to the doctor's office for stitches instead of going swimming.

Well, last night after Family Home Evening, which included a rousing game of Dallin's creation where we had to make a certain number of baskets within a specified time frame to become Gods and have the ability to create universes had concluded, the kids excitedly ran upstairs to get their jammies on.

There was a cry; the type of cry that tells a parent that something is seriously wrong. But the cry also had anger in it, so Richard and I listened, thinking that one of the brothers had just done something to incredibly upset his sister. But nothing was said and the horrific cry continued punctuated with long silences where the pain was so bad sound just would not come.

I rushed upstairs demanding to know what happened as I scooped up a sobbing Emma. A sheepish Ben replied that she had gotten her hand shut in his door on the side where the hinges are. Emma showed me her hand. There was her left ring finger with the nail attached only at the tip; the rest had been ripped out from under her skin at the base of her nail.

After some quick bandaging and a second opinion call to Grandma Jeanne, we were off to the Provo InstaCare which unfortunately, had closed at 9:00 only 2 minutes before we arrived, so onto Orem we went.

Emma was inconsolable which rattled my sleep deprived mother nerves to the point of feeling inconsolable myself. It was getting late. I was tired and felt helpless that my soothing words and other antics were having no effect on my child. Threatening tears burned in my eyes and just when I didn't think I could take it any longer there was a voice behind me speaking to Emma. It was a woman who was at the InstaCare with her own son. She was telling Emma that she had an extra quarter and had used it to buy her a ring from a vending machine in the waiting room. The crying stopped and a little uninjured hand reached out to take the ring encased in a small plastic ball which was then held tightly throughout the rest of the following procedures.

She didn't start to cry again until they used a needle to numb her finger in order to push the nail back under the skin so that the nail bed would not adhere to the skin preventing any future growth of a nail on that finger. When the needle had been put away the crying quickly subsided as she gripped that little plastic case holding a gift from a stranger. A stranger that with 25 cents and a charitable heart made the difference for a mother and her baby girl when things seemed in chaos and out of control. A stranger that with 25 cents bought back my sanity.

The x-rays were inconclusive of whether the tip of her finger is broken, but they are treating it as such with a splint and a round of antibiotics. I have a small crescent shaped scar between my thumb and forefinger to remind me of the torture that living with 3 brothers can bring, the doctor says that Emma will probably have a rippled nail to remind her of hers. But she will have something else, a cheap plastic white ring decorated with black spirals to wear on that finger with the rippled nail that will always remind me of the kindness that 25 cents bought.

As a side note: After I had finished writing this post today and we were getting ready to pick-up her antibiotic, Emma asked if she could wear the ring that Heavenly Father and Jesus gave her last night. I was floored. But I firmly believe we are the hands that do our Father's work here on this earth and that woman, whoever she may be, was on an angel's errand last night.

All I want for Christmas...

2010-12-24T23:35:00.000-07:00

Whoever said all they want for Christmas is their two front teeth, must have never had two boys with grins like these.

But want I really want for Christmas is to thank you all for your friendship, tell you that I hope that your Christmas is filled with great memory-making moments with those that you love and may the New Year have all the best things in store for you.

That's not too much to ask for, is it?

What about looking at a few pics from our Christmas Eve too?
Thanks.
You guys really are the best.

Christmas Eve Pajamas

Mary, Joseph, & Baby Jesus

Three very wise and cool men.

Mary on her donkey.

And a very sweet shepherd.

Merry Christmas!!!

From me and all of my characters.

White Elephant

2010-12-17T11:20:00.000-07:00

White Elephant noun-
2 c : something of little or no value
Definition from Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary

According to the definition, what you see pictured above is probably the best white elephant gift EVER!

Although..... if I keep it up, they might end up having some value because they may actually fit me by the time the holidays are over. This is not a goal by any means because honestly, these are one gift I can bear NOT to use and CAN NOT wait to re-gift next year.

You know what they say about paybacks...

Dallin Said...

2010-12-13T20:53:00.000-07:00

While talking with Ashton about their future plans, Dallin said, "I think I'm gonna go to clown college....or Yale."

During a discussion about ways people learn second languages Dallin announced, "Well, Dad learned Spanish at the ATM before going on his mission."

While visiting Temple Square to see the Christmas lights a few weeks ago, the boys were asking their Dad what the Assembly Hall was used for. When Richard replied that it was used for recitals and concerts, Dallin excitedly asked, "Like Bon Jovi?"

I tidied up the boys closet and when Dallin discovered what had been done he looked at me with mock disgust and demanded, "What have you done!?"
Then his disgust turned to a smile as he finished with, "You beautiful woman, YOU!"
Then I got a nice hug. I'm thinking he'll make a fantastic husband someday.

Oh....and he also said that he wants YOU to have a very Merry Christmas!!!

Helping Hands

2010-12-04T22:30:00.000-07:00

Indulge me, please? This picture has nothing to do with the post, except, that it is of Emma. I just thought it was sweet. Being her mom, I think that is my right.

I was headed for the bathroom when Dallin flew past me beating me to it and slamming the door in my face.

"Hey! I was going in there."
"I have to go!" he replied.
"Well, I do too!"
"Well, I have to go....BAD!"
I sighed, "I guess it looks like I'll just have to hold it."

I turned around and bent over to pick up some dirty socks that had been discarded on the floor when my behind was accosted by little hands trying to wedge their way where no little hands should be.

Not used to being fondled this way, I immediately stood up exclaiming, "What on earth are you doing!?"

As those words left my mouth, one little hand traveled around from the back to wedge its way in from the front! And that is when I was met with the cherubic face and questioning brown eyes of a potty training 3 year old, who innocently told me, "I'm helping you hold it, Mommy. I'll help you hold it, so you don't poo or pee your pants."

Awww...now that's a little helper.

I guess, I will forgive her for groping me.

Don't Mess with Tradition

2010-12-02T19:29:00.000-07:00

At our family gatherings there are certain dishes that are traditional to eat. At the Parke Family Christmas parties it is always dessert- Granny Parke's Pineapple Fluff and Peanut Brittle Dessert. The second takes a little getting used to, the first, if made right (read- not made by me), is a little scoop of heaven. The rest of the meal can change yearly, but dessert should remain the same. It just isn't Christmas with out ingesting calories in those forms.

On my side of the family, the traditional dishes debut at Thanksgiving and make an encore appearance for Christmas dinner. The only problem is we have 2 Thanksgiving dinners by celebrating Canadian Thanksgiving in October and American Thanksgiving in November, so by the time we have Christmas dinner in December, I am ready to retire the Green Bean Casserole and Sweet Potato Casserole recipes' for another 9 months.

Except this year.

I made the traditional dishes for our Canadian Thanksgiving that we shared with friends and I brought home almost a full pan of each....which I ate a portion of for lunch... for the next week.

I'll tell you that leftovers are good, but not that good. Bleck!

By the time that planning our American Thanksgiving dinner came around I didn't even want to think about green beans, sweet potatoes, or casseroles in general, let alone eat any of them. So I just said, "NO" to more tradition. This year we would just make do with candied yams and cooked carrots on Thanksgiving.

When I told Richard about the lack of traditional dishes at this years dinner he was appalled. I like to make my hubby happy, so I relented and agreed to make a small green bean casserole. Then on Thanksgiving morning, I was on the phone with my mom she mentioned how disappointed my brother, Nate, was that we weren't having the Sweet Potato casserole...

You can't have disappointed people at Thanksgiving dinner, so since there was still time and I had all the ingredients and I'm the nicest sister he has (the fact I'm the only sister he has doesn't count), I gave into tradition a second time.

On Tuesday, I ate the last helping of sweet potato casserole for lunch all in the name of blessed tradition. It's not gone, I just can not bear to eat another bite. It is sitting in my fridge waiting it's journey to the trash can or disposal since it's week expiry date is up. No one else has had any and the date today is December 2nd with our traditional Christmas Eve dinner, with the traditional dishes looming only a mere 22 days away...

Here's to hoping Christmas comes slowly...very, very slowly.

Speaking Of...

2010-11-09T22:06:00.000-07:00

Speaking of being trust-a-ful....let me show you a face that is not.

This is what happens to a face, along with her new white t-shirt and my bed sheets, when a non trust-a-ful 3 year old who is supposed to be going to sleep gets a hold of a red permanent marker.

Did I mention the ink was permanent?
And on my sheets?
And her new shirt?
(Insert scream of insanity here.)

It's a good thing she's cute and my only girl, so I've decided to forgive her.

I've also decided to never let her do my make-up.

Trusty

2010-11-07T08:24:00.000-07:00

In our house we have a rule- no eating outside of the kitchen. Out of all of our rules this is the one that is broken the very most...so much that sometimes I wonder why we even have it, but we do. And as with most rules there are exceptions, like when we have movie party or if you are given special permission. But even special permission privileges can be revoked if your dishes don't make it back to the kitchen. Which they almost never do.

So after a long string of suspending privileges I was skeptical when Dallin asked for special permission to take a piece of his birthday pumpkin pie upstairs to watch Ben reach a new level on some video game. I reminded him of the rules and as I handed him the pie I added this little phrase for good measure, "Now I'm trusting you."

He looked at me and said, "Don't worry, Mom. I'm trust-a-ful."

And it's a good thing that he's so trust-a-ful because he was baptized and confirmed a member of the Church yesterday by his dad.

Congratulations Dallin! Mom and Dad love you and are so proud that you are such a trust-a-ful guy.

We wouldn't want you any other way.

Ready to go in the jumpsuit also worn by his dad, older brother Ashton, and now him.

Family Photos

2010-10-21T22:16:00.000-06:00

After 2 plus years of forgoing family pictures we recently had some taken. I am thrilled with what we ended up with and since they say that a picture is worth a thousands words, I'll shut up and let them speak for themselves.

That's not all folks.

You have to click here to head over to the blog of the photographer to see the rest.

Excuses, Excuses...

2010-10-19T22:07:00.005-06:00

If you opened the dictionary to the phrase 'blog slacker' I can almost guarantee you will find a picture of me. My blog and almost everything surrounding it has taken a back burner since the kids went back to school. This is evidenced by my puny number of posts in August and September, my lack of commenting on other blogs (I promise, I am still reading them.), and the absence or extreme tardiness of replying to your comments here. I am sorry, really I am.

I was reminded in church on Sunday that the first step to repentance is to recognize that there is a problem, so.....Hi. My name is Natalie and I am a serious blog slacker.

There. Consider it recognized.

But just because I've recognized it doesn't mean I'm not going to try to justify it. So....I think it may have something to do with the fact that blogging takes me an excruciatingly long time to do. I can "hear" what I want to say in my head, but when it comes to making it travel to my fingertips, it makes a detour somewhere along the way and things never sound like I want them to. Trust me, they are much more witty, funny, and thought provoking in my head. It may also have something to do with adjusting back to a school schedule, Richard's travel schedule, homework, lessons, team sports, volunteer time, scouts, potty training, or that life has simply been crazy and my brain cells stretched too thin.

I know...excuses, excuses.

Because really let's face it....there is time to blog. I have the same number of hours in my day as I did back in June or July, I have just chosen, or in some cases, life has chosen for me, to spend those hours on other things. Whether I like it or not.

One particular excuse some friends recently introduced me to is couponing. Yes, I am now one of those annoying 'coupon people' who takes an extra minute at the end of checkout to scan coupons. Yep, one of those people that apparently a lot of cashiers hate, and someone who has been saving more money than I realized was possible from those little inserts in my paper and mail.

Here are just a few of my conquests from my some latest saving trips.

Everything in this picture was FREE! including the smile on my cute little model's face.

Toilet paper- $1.38- because who wants to spend a lot of money on something you soil with nastiness and flush down the toilet?

And the one I am most proud of...

2 bottles of laundry detergent (totaling 50 loads), 1 bottle of dish liquid, 8 bars of soap, 36 of those things in the pink boxes, and 6 bags of Halloween candy = $13.39 at Rite Aid.

BUT if you count the $8 I got back on this purchase from their Up+ rewards program my total was only $5.39. That is a lot of free or really cheap stuff and just by following this blog and by planning my shopping trips using this site.

And although it has taken me some time to get organized and figure out just exactly what I am doing, after one particular day of great savings I felt like I had saved enough that when I visited a friend's boutique party I could safely buy me one of these...

And since I think Richard gave it the universal male look of approval by rolling his eyes, I've decided that maybe some excuses are worth a little blog interruption.

Just Getting into the Spirit of Things

2010-10-16T12:08:00.000-06:00

I love fall.

The crispness in the air...

The change of sunlight...

The array of delicious harvest foods...

The fallen leaves strewn about like a quilt pieced of crimson, amber, and ochre hued shapes. Their decay permeating the air with the distinct scent of autumn.

It's heavenly.

And of course, there's Halloween. As much as I love fall, I really love Halloween. The decorating, the costumes, the candy...everything about it says that I was made for this holiday. If time, sheer energy, and the ever mighty dollar weren't an issue, I'm sure our house would take on the appearance of a spook alley attraction from a theme park for the month of October. You can bet it would be awesome.

This year, I think I was feeling like decorating just the house and yard was not enough. I could do more; like maybe I should make the decorating a little more personal this time around. So last week with the help of an old lamp with a broken light bulb I took the Halloween spirit onto my actual person with some Frankenstein like accessories- five of them to be exact. For an added touch of gruesome, a divet where a missing chunk of flesh should be was added just below.

I know that the inside of my arm is kind of an inconspicuous place for these accessories, so I promise that next year I will be more conscious of which body part I gouge with broken glass. I guess my aim was a little off that day. And although it doesn't look all that impressive with out the prescence of gushing blood I think that I have shown there are no legnths that I will not go to for a holiday that I love.

Oh, and if I get tired of the Frankenstein effect the nice medical staff at the Provo InstaCare provided me with this more girlie costume to trade off with.

Two-for-one costumes! Now that's what I'm talking about!

Heck, for $50 bucks I wouldn't have expected anything less.

Constructively Destructive

2010-10-05T23:19:00.002-06:00

He came home with it. That creative little glint in his eye that told me he had plans. I'm always interested to see what forms from that glint. The other day while I was busy with scouts he disappeared into the garage and built a protective covering for his tortoise's newly inherited outdoor habitat using hammers, saws, wire cutters, and a staple gun- all by himself. I was most impressed.

He busily got to work with clay, toothpicks, paint, fishing twine and cardboard and upon entering the kitchen to find a bunch of little clay balls of varying sizes, I discovered the making of a universe right in my very own kitchen. Now on any other day having the solar system formed on my kitchen island would have been thrilling, but as I had been fighting a headache since early afternoon thrilling was a little too much to handle.

By evening the ache in my head would not relent. Despite 2 doses of meds and resting in a dark room it continued to build until nausea became my newest worry. So just when each planet was getting its very own personalized paint job I lost my dinner, decided to throw in the towel, and just go to bed...leaving my 4 munchkins in the hands of a boy who was lost in the creation of the heavens- literally.

I woke up a 5 a.m. feeling grateful I hadn't decapitated myself the night before like I had been tempted to and got up to see where the other 2 who hadn't ended up in bed with me had landed. As I opened my bedroom door I realized my house was lit up like a Christmas tree. As I walked around turning off lights I found that every light was on in my house except three. Not to mention the 2 televisions blaring in deafening decibels. Wow, I bet the power company loves us.

I had been given a glimpse of the completed solar system through squinty eyes in the dark of my bedroom the night before, so yeah, I had no idea what it really looked like. So I headed downstairs to the kitchen to get a better look at the finished product. This is what greeted me...

Suddenly, I felt my headache returning and I turned around, went up the stairs, and back to bed.

Just this once, the universe was going to have to wait for me.

Dallin Said...

2010-10-02T12:32:00.001-06:00

First day of school 2010

"Smell me....if you DARE!"

"Guess what, Mom? I AM the new Tom Sawyer." (I am still wondering what exactly that means?)

"I can have Cookies & Cream AND Vanilla ice cream 'cause I have flat abs.

Said while putting on a robe "Rich people wear these, so I'm rich.... Now where is my allowance?

"There's a policeman! Everyone act nostril!!!"

Dallin- Is that the cheese from Maceys?

Me- Yes.

Dallin- I don't want it. It's Californian. I like Wisconsin. (What 7 yr old cares that much about his cheese?)

Some friends from Canada came to visit us before school started. While hiking to Timpanogos my friend was getting Ben excited about starting Kindergarten by asking his brothers what good things they remembered about Kindergarten. Dallin who is now only in 2nd grade replied somewhat reminiscent, "I remember Kindergarten like it was 2 years ago."

Repentance

2010-09-19T22:19:00.000-06:00

Last Sunday evening, which also happened to be garbage night, my Visiting Teacher made a surprise visit to our house. You know that is just when someone will show up to see me- when all 10 of the garbage cans in our house are sitting in the front room teeming with smelly week old garbage waiting to be taken out.

Lovely.

But I don't care because she brought me this....

She said it was repentance for not visiting me last month. I told her that I really like her type of repentance.

Who wants a chocolate cake from me?

Constructively Nonconstructive

2010-09-17T23:40:00.001-06:00

First day of school 2010

A week or so before school started, Ashton came to me with that look on his face and the famous summer phrase on his lips- "I'm bored."

I instantly responded with, "I've got plenty of things you can do." while the list of jobs that needed to be done scrolled through my head.

He quickly retaliated through gritted teeth with "I don't want to work, Mom."

Since he had already completed his chores for the day I couldn't argue with him, so I listed a number of other things he could do. He wanted nothing to do with any of them and said, "I don't really feel like doing anything constructive." as he sulked out of the room. Figuring he would eventually find something to occupy his time I headed off to Cub Scouts.

When I came home he was busily at work surrounded by cardboard and armed with my glue gun. When he emerged he had created this masterpiece- a tech deck skate park.

I never have really understood what was so great about those mini skateboards they move with their fingers until I took the boys and some of their friends to the real skate park down the street.

Steep cement walls leading down into a cement pit with kids of all sizes zooming back and forth is not particularly my idea of fun. It's more like a nightmare ER visit with a head injury or gaping head wound waiting to happen. Needless to say, by the time we left I had 10 new gray hairs and a new found appreciation for the simplicity and safety of tech decks. Because really....what's the worse that can happen with a tech deck? Maybe a hangnail or at the worse, a sprained finger? Those injuries I can handle.

Also, if you have you ever priced the pieces that go into a tech deck park you know that they are certainly not cheap. I figure Ashton's nonconstructive ingenuity that boring summer day saved about $35-$45.

Maybe I should let him be nonconstructive more often.

What I Learned in Kindergarten...

2010-09-03T11:45:00.001-06:00

On Tuesday, Ben started Kindergarten and I guess technically, I did too.You see, Ben was really excited to finally be able to call Amelia Earhart his school, just like his brothers do. He has been waiting for and was completely ready to finally start Kindergarten. I didn't even get emotional dropping him off on his first day because I was so happy that he was finally getting what he wanted. Well, that and the fact that I stayed the entire time.

Walking to school with the brothers.

Why did I stay the entire time when I had a boy who didn't make a fuss or cry at the prospect of me leaving? Why didn't I leave when I could have enjoyed 3 hours tackling my list of "Things to do once the kids are in school"? The reason is because as a friend and I were getting ready to leave, we noticed 28 little bodies filled to the brim with anxious excited energy that the first day of school, let alone the first day of kindergarten brings. We also noticed the teacher doing her best to field parent's questions while trying calm the separation anxiety of a few of them too, while attempting to contain all of that anxious excited energy into a civilized classroom of learning- by herself.

Needless, to say this is a daunting task for even the Superhero-est of seasoned educators like Mrs. Thibault.

Superhero Mrs. Thibault

Luckily, Richard was home and willing to watch Emma, so I was able help along with my friend, Rachel. I would describe the rest of the day as organized chaos. It took all 3 of us and a Foster Grandparent who came to help to wrangle those 28 little bodies through all the activities of the morning. It was thoroughly exhausting. But I can't wait to help out again.

And you might think that Kindergarten is too elementary for an adult, but experiencing it for a second time around, there was still plenty of education to be had. These are a few of the things I learned;

- A party where the majority of the presents are Kleenex, glue sticks, and Ziploc bags is oddly still really exciting.
- Actually getting the cupcake with pink frosting dams a flood of tears and makes a lot of things right with the world again to a 5 yr old girl.
- Even though a story was told about pigs, snails, fish, and cats going to school, acting like a chipmunk while you are in school is not acceptable. (This one's for you, Rachel :)
- When you're a Kindergartner you can wear 2 completely different shoes to school and it's apparently okay.
- Those shoes can even be 2 different sizes.
- Kindergarten teachers should go straight to heaven for all of the shoelaces they have to tie in the space of 3 hours.
- Bible names were really popular for baby boys in 2004 & 2005.
- Even though you may have a named your son a conservative Bible name, it does not guarantee that he will have Christ-like behavior.
- Riding the bus is kind of a really big deal when you are 5.
- The phrase "pockets, pretzels, basket" has nothing to do with food. Bummer.
- You have snack time a half an hour before you go home and your mom attempts to feed you something nutritious.
- I was not meant to be a Kindergarten teacher.
- I am really glad there are people who are- like Mrs. Thibault.
- No matter how old I or Ben will ever get, it is still the best when Daddy and Emma come to pick us up.

I think Ben's face and skip say it all- Kindergarten is awesome.

Parental Advisory

2010-08-29T10:00:00.001-06:00

The other day Emma was climbing down the stairs using the banister overlooking the dining room. As her little feet went between each baluster her little head bobbed up and down above and under the handrail. At one point she propped her chin on the handrail and with huge excited eyes called to me to take in the 'dangerous' stunt she was pulling. I replied with the motherly, "Wow look at you!" and "Be careful because that's pretty scary."

When she reached the bottom she ran over to me and with a very serious know-it-all look told me, "Now mom, don't ever try that at home....it's only for little kids to do."

Run Away

2010-08-28T16:44:00.001-06:00

Today I was supposed to run the 7 mile leg of a marathon length relay, but I didn't. Our team was short a member, which was just as well since I have a cough that has decided that my chest cavity is the ideal place to take up residence. If I would have ran this morning there is a good chance my lungs would have caught on fire and I would have been FORD (Found On Road Dead). This is not such a splendid outcome for a race. So instead, I sent all my good running vibes to my friend, Rachel, who is doing her part in a triathlon today, packed up my laptop, and hit the road with my new fave song blaring. Almost 3 hours later I arrived at my destination...

My sister-in-law Linda has connections with someone that has connections to a hotel in Cedar City, so about once a year we ditch our families and we take over the hotel conference room with electronics and snacks and we scrapbook (or in my case, blog) to our little hearts' content.

Connections are a great thing.

But don't worry about my munchkins, I've left them in the capable hands of leftover Panda Express, Little Caesar, and of course, their favorite person in the whole world, daddy. I'm positive they'll survive to make a mess of the house and run him ragged until I get home tomorrow afternoon. Until then I have three goals for the next 24 hours-
1. To catch up my blog on things that I missed over the summer,
2. To catch up with my girlfriend, LaRae, over dinner,
3. And to not gain 5 pounds in the process.

What Sexy Is

2010-08-19T15:34:00.000-06:00

I don't know about you,

but this...

...is what I find incredibly sexy.

A Late Night Education

2010-08-14T12:29:00.000-06:00

Last night we had our annual sleep outside movie party. With having just finished packing away all the camping stuff away last week, we weren't too keen on dragging out the tent again, so we slept on the lawn under the stars. And it just so happens that with the Perseid Meteor Shower winding down, a tent ceiling would have just obstructed a most magnificent view. We also didn't actually watch a movie last night. Instead we read and told stories including the kids' favorite "The Vindow Viper". The only movies that played were the ones that our imaginations created for us in our minds- the very best kind, after all.

One of my favorite parts of the whole night included the sweet kisses bestowed all over my face by a brown eyed, feet-y jammie clad angel with her little arm thrown around my neck pulling me close . The other was when Dallin told us we had everything except a "pot to go to the bathroom in". We informed him, we did. It was 20 feet away in the house and it is called a toilet. I love that crazy nut of a kid.

As I lay awake at 2:30 in the morning gazing up into the star speckled night, I thought about how enjoyable movie party had been. There was no bickering about what movie to watch or who got to sit by dad on the couch. Everyone listened and laughed as others told stories and there was a tangible warmth as we laid on the cool grass together that was not created by the piles of blankets and quilts covering us. It was comfortable. It was enjoyable. It was memorable; just like being with family should be.

So last night I learned that maybe movie party each week might be a little more special with a little less movie all the time and a little more effort at really just being together. As these thoughts concluded my sleep deprived and extremely exhausted brain also gained knowledge of these 10 important or not so important things. I learned that...

1....apparently there was a train passing through with an engineer who must have been peeved he wasn't asleep at 2:30 in the morning like the majority of Provo. Because I'll tell you, he did his darnedest laying on that horn of his to wake up not only Provo, but the state of Utah.

2....Dallin talks in his sleep after he exclaimed, "Mom, guess what?" followed by a sentence of nothing but absolute nonsense.

3....the high pitched whine emanating from something electrical in our neighborhood had begun to alternate. This was more mind numbing annoying than its previous constancy.

4....the smell of dew dampened ground renewed memories of sleeping out as a kid...and an almost overwhelming urge to go toilet papering.

5....train #1's engineer must have a twin who was at the helm of train #2.

6....you can hear the backup warning beeps from the construction trucks working on the freeway all the way in my backyard.

7....meteor showers are incredibly captivating. I only wish they didn't get really started so late at night (or should I say early in the morning). If only I could have propped my eyelids open to continue to catch all of those little lights streaking across the sky while I slept...

8....there was no way in that place low below that I was going to feel like running 6 miles at 7:00.

9.....in all of my 33 years and birthing of 4 children I still have not accumulated enough "batting" to combat the hardness of sleeping on the ground.

10....a Saturday nap was already sounding like an excellent idea.

Almost Like Christmas

2010-07-31T20:05:00.001-06:00

Standing on my front porch the sound of the big truck's engine reached my ears before my eyes caught site of it rounding the bend at the end of the road. The excitement in me rose.

Could it be?

A search of the recesses of my memory told me the date was indeed within the correct time frame. The truck was the correct colors- brown and golden yellow- not the competitors white with purple and orange logo branded on its side. (A side note of apology to my brother Nate, a driver for the competition). The truck hadn't stopped yet, but the driver was slowing, glancing to the right and then to the left looking at house numbers.

It just had to be.

I ran into the kitchen to avoid looking like I was anxiously awaiting a delivery and to stop the rising hope that the big brown truck would indeed stop at our house instead of my neighbor's like he normally does. Within seconds there was a knock on the glass of our screen door. With the front door being propped open I had a full view of a Doug Heffernan look-a-like clad in the brown shorts with boots and all.

It was here!

I nonchalantly made my way out to the porch where Mr. UPS left a rather large cardboard box for me. Only nothing in it is actually for me, my name just graces the shipping label and the card that paid for it all.

Away from little eyes, my box and I stealthily head to my room where the door is promptly shut and locked. Interruptions won't do for what happens next. The packing tape is slit with a trusty bobby pin and the flaps are slowly folded back to reveal a pile of plastic packages in an assortment of colors; like gifts within a gift. I sift and sort and then I rip. Plastic bags take flight going this way and that, creating a substantial snowstorm of plastic flakes. When the last bag lands noiselessly amongst the others, there they sat- brand new school clothes.

There were five new shirts for each boy to get them through the first week of school (with 1 or 2 put away for Christmas or birthdays) and a small collection of outfits for Emma. Although Emma doesn't attend school yet, she is my only girl and without older siblings for hand-me-downs she had nothing for cold weather when fall came. Plus, I suppose I'm a bit partial to flowers, unicorns, and butterflies as opposed to skater and sport graphics. Thus, I am justified.

I held them up, each one individually, admiring their unfaded, unstained, and unwrinkled appearance (except for the fold creases that scream new) noting the size and color and how it would fare for the intended child. They were perfect. Even the kids thought so.

They were also a great deal considering the amount I received because of already discounted items being marked down even more with an extra 15% off coupon and free shipping. And even better than that was that is the fact that they were purchased while my body lay sick in bed last week refusing to move. No expending energy taking ornery anti-shopping boys and one "buy everything for me" girl to the mall, Marts or Ko's in search of the right fashion to kick off the 2010-11 school year. Just point, click, check out, and wait for delivery.

I love the whole online shopping experience. It's like a little gift I give myself.

Dallin Said...

2010-07-27T23:40:00.000-06:00

Lately, I cannot believe my 7 year old. It's like he's been possessed... in a good way. Dallin is known for being shy and sweet, but lately we have discovered he also has a humorous and somewhat wild side. He has been making us smile, cracking us up right and left, and at the end of the day it seems like I am always telling Richard, "Guess what Dallin said..." or asking him to remind me about something off-the-wall Dallin said.

There were many more than I have here. I wish I had recorded them all, but I didn't.

I will try to do better.

Without further ado, Welcome to "Dallin Said".

" You better have washed that really good. I don't want a single strain of strawberry DNA on it."

"We need to get another tramp or a swing set with a hot tub on it, because our backyard doesn't have any PI-ZAAAZ!

To Emma while cuddling after just waking up- "Emma, you'll always be my very best friend forever.... at least right now."

To Ashton- "Well you're gonna go bald, 'cause you're from dad's side of the family."

To me during a conversation where he was informed that since I am a woman I grow hair under my arms- just like men- only I shave every day. Don't ask me how we got on that topic because I couldn't tell you, but Dallin said, "You have hair growing in your armpits?!? What... Are you on drugs or something!?!

The Good. The Bad. The Ugly.

2010-07-21T16:58:00.012-06:00

Just not in that order.

To tell this story I need to mix things up a little and start with The Bad.

After hitting Sacrament Meeting two Sundays ago we headed back to Tony Grove, located about 25 miles up Logan Canyon, to move camp. We needed to move everything from the campsite where we had Youth Conference down the road to the campsites we would be sharing with many members of Richard's family.

We loaded up the back of Richard's truck with various camping paraphernalia, Richard turned the key in the ignition starting the engine, and headed off down the road. In the back of my mind it registered that his truck didn't sound quite right, but we were in a hurry to get stuff moved before checkout time-- mostly to avoid paying for another day on a site we weren't really using and to get to that relaxing part of camping (ha, ha) after setup is complete. After he was gone I didn't think anymore about it, until he came back for another load and that bad noise was still there. I mentioned that his truck sounded like there was a hamster running on its wheel under the hood. Richard hung his head and said, "I know. I was hoping you wouldn't notice."

Why would he hope I wouldn't notice? Well, in his words, "I knew you would worry."
Yep, worrying. It's something I do VERY well. Which brings us to The Ugly.

On Saturday, after returning home from camping, Richard tried to start his truck to go to the local nursery to find it wouldn't turn over. He tried again on Monday morning with no luck- the hamster had quit running- and the truck was towed to the shop. After a bunch of automotive terms which included serpentine belt and compressor he told me the real damage-- it was going to be $700-$800 to fix the problem. That is one ugly number and the reason why I start to worry when it sounds like a pet store has been opened under the hood of one of our vehicles.

Where is The Good in this story? From all appearances it may not seem to be there, but it is. The Good is that the truck didn't come to a halt until we made the 2 hour drive home and it was backed up to be unloaded in our driveway. The Good is that the truck happened to be parked in the perfect position to be towed away for the deal of a lifetime fee of $60 compared to the hundreds it would have cost to have it towed back to Provo from Logan Canyon. The Good comes in having a savings account to pay for necessary repairs. The Good comes from a repair shop that had it fixed and up and running faster than fast. And finally, The Good comes in the form of a completed family vacation and successful Youth Conference all without being stranded with loads of camping gear and no way to get it home.

Yes, there is definitely good in my story. There always is; once I get through the bad and the ugly I realize different facets of it every day.

39 Days

2010-07-16T22:01:00.002-06:00

"Ah, summer- what power you have to make us suffer and like it." -Russel Baker

I am in my pajamas....not because it is 10:00 pm, but because I have been in them all day. I also had a nap today-- in fact, I had two. I have watched an abnormal amount of HGTV, yet I can't recall any details of anything I viewed. My house is in shambles due to 4 children being left to their own devices and luckily, my mother sent home a loaf of her homemade bread with us yesterday or those 4 children may have starved. I am not kidding-- I seriously popped 2 bags of popcorn for dinner.

I woke up today feeling like I had been all I could be, given all I could give, and today it was time for a break. Couple that with the fact, that I came home from camping feeling like I was run over by a Mack truck, with a sore throat, and congestion that makes me sound like the dog my kids want, but can't have and the result you get is my day.

All was not lost, I will have you know that I did do something today. I looked up the date that school starts- August 24th. With today being the 16th there are 15 more days left in July and 24 until the first day of school in August, add them together and we end up with 39 more days of summer. I didn't look it up to know how many more days I had to endure my children being home all day because actually I really enjoy them being around. I looked it up to know how much longer I have to endure the non-schedule of summer, because I think it is starting to wear on me.

It seems like since the last day of school we have been running- and not the good kind of running that I really love. I feel like we have been running from one activity to the other, from one vacation to the next, and from one family get together to another, all in the name of summer. Don't get me wrong, I love to have fun like spending long days in amusement parks and weeks living in a tent with no running water and the nearest flush toilet 275 steps (yes, I counted) in the dark from my campsite because we are making memories. Memories that I hope my kids will repeat someday over a campfire to their kids in the same campground we frequent and on their first time visiting the same amusement park. Having no particular schedule to follow leaves way for plenty of memory making; perhaps just too much for my own good.

So I guess I've started looking forward to a time when bedtimes are set and adhered to. A time when the schedule includes homework, projects, and reading hours. A time when fun things are put on the calendar to look forward to during breaks and vacations. A time when life is somewhat predictable again.

Then 2 months into that time I'll be looking forward to a carefree summer again.

Camping

2010-07-08T00:13:00.001-06:00

Today, I will be on my way here....

(Tony Grove 2009)

Richard is the official Youth Conference Director for our Youth Conference this year, so kind of by default, I gained the title of Assistant Youth Conference Director. It's what wives do. Especially the really good wives.

It's beautiful area though, isn't it?

There are tons of these....

And we will be doing a lot of this...

And at the end of Youth Conference, I will pick up my munchkins and go back to do it all again.
Awesome, eh?

But before you get too envious of my camping adventure you may want to watch the first three or so minutes of this video clip. Or know what? Just take a break and watch the entire thing. It brings a smile to my face and I garauntee if you have ever been camping, it will bring one to yours too.

Oh, and just so you know, I feel the same way about bacon.

So while I'm away at camp you can pray for me....

(Tony Grove 2009)

...or maybe for them.

BWAAHAAHAAHAA!!!

(That was an evil laugh..... Just in case you were wondering.)

Oh Canada...

2010-07-01T00:01:00.001-06:00

Happy Canada Day!!!

In honor of Canada being Benjamin's birth country, I am dedicating a post specifically to some of the vocabulary I picked up living there... a translator of sorts. With any luck, you may actually understand me now...

*Eh? or Eh. - Means I am asking if you agree or I'm just making a statement in general. You have to admit, it does sound more intelligent than the standard American "Huh?".

*Toque- This is simply a knitted hat, like a stocking cap. Don't ask me why it's called that, but I say it anyway.

*Washroom- When I ask where this is I don't want to use your washer & dryer just your nearest toilet.

*Sorry (pronounced "sore-y") - All I have to say about this one is that I'm really sawree.

*Girlfriend- When I talk about "my girlfriend" I mean just that- a girl that is a friend. Remember, I am happily married to a man.

*"I'll phone you."- When I use this or a phrase similar to this, I am simply stating that I will call you on the phone at a later time. It does not in any way mean that I would use the phone as some type of weapon to hit, bludgeon, or in any way cause you bodily harm. Just in case you were wondering.

There you have it.

Okay, you Hoser, take off now eh?

'Eclipsing' my Opinion

2010-06-30T01:27:00.005-06:00

On Facebook the entire buzz right now is about 'Eclipse'. The first showings have ended and everyone is jumping on to give their report.

No, this is not why I am still awake.

But I do have a ticket to a showing of 'Eclipse' for Thursday night with the girls.

So, I figure since I am awake and since sleep seems to be eluding me tonight, I will share my recent discovery with you. (You may not want to thank me just yet.)

I read the "Twilight" series. I admit-- I enjoyed them. Not the whole love story part necessarily, because who is stupid enough to fall in love with a vampire, right? Or I guess a werewolf for that matter. I enjoyed the action and creativity of the story. Then came the movies. The first was pitiful. The second, injected with more money and maybe some steroids, showed how millions and muscles can improve a movie. Although, I still don't picture Rob Pattinson as Edward, and I wish potty mouth (read the latest EW and you'll see what I'm talking about) Kristen Stewart, as Bella, could learn to act like she actually loved that vampire boyfriend of hers, the one ingredient they had right was Taylor Lautner, as Jacob.

That was until the other day.

I had never seen Taylor in anything else besides the 'Twilight' movies, but I did hear he starred in a movie called "Shark Boy and Lava Girl" a few years ago. I had never seen this movie and actually I still haven't, but it was on the Disney Channel the other day and I just caught this scene-

Who wouldn't have nightmares after watching young Taylor, a.k.a Sharkboy, dance around in his fake six pack shark costume crooning that song?

The one good ingredient for me has been tainted and I don't know if I can ever look at him and his real six pack seriously again. Jacob has been ruined for me forever....or at least, until Thursday night.

My New BFF

2010-06-29T17:12:00.007-06:00

I am here to tell you that the best things in life are indeed, FREE.

Like my new BFF.

(Yes, this post is about laundry. Hurry! There's still time to close the window and save your self !)

My Facebook friend, Lara, introduced us. I guess, that my BFF's other half wasn't contributing to the friendship like she should and Lara decided it was time their friendship was over. Seeing that my BFF was still a good and willing friend and hearing that I was in need of just such a friend, Lara hooked us up for FREE. How nice is that? Especially since I cannot tell you how well we get along.

She has all the qualities I could ever ask to have in a friend like her. First, she is efficient. She dried a full load of towels last night in 40 minutes instead of the double that time it would have taken my old dryer. She is also quiet and soft spoken, not loud and boisterous, with "its all about me" volume like my old one. While the towels dried, the kids watched TV in the next room without having to turn it up to ear piercing decibels in order to hear over her while she worked. It was like she wasn't even there. And finally, she is fast; faster than I can fold or put away. She beats me every time. I don't mind; I am more than happy to let her win. I'm just nice like that you see.

It's a beautiful thing really, our relationship that is, there is lots of give and take. I give and give and she just keeps taking.

So, yes, I'm a little excited about my 'new to me' dryer and just when I thought there could be anything exciting about doing laundry.

Blessing in Disguise

2010-06-25T12:00:00.013-06:00

Prior to our vacation fun, we had wedding fun with our niece Katie, and her sweetheart Kendall.

Theirs is a fairytale for sure, but that is her story to blog about.

This is mine....

Their sealing ceremony was slated for 7:50 a.m. in the Salt Lake Temple, which meant we would have to leave by 7:00 to get there on time. This also meant we would need a babysitter. I don't know about you, but I don't know many people who are very happy to get up at the crack of dawn during the summer to watch my kids... unless you are my mother and their grandma. Since the reception was north of Salt Lake and closer to my parent's house than ours, it just made sense to take the kids to their house the night before, stay overnight, and take the kids to the reception on our way back to Provo. It was the perfect plan.

We left to go to my parents home later than planned which raised my anxiety level for reasons not important to the story, so I'm not including them. Just know I was a little stressed. Anyways, as we were coming upon American Fork, I was assaulted by a smell. This smell was pungent and nasty. It came out of nowhere and it puzzled me. I noticed that there were fields off to the west... It is spring and with crops being planted surely farmers fertilize their fields... that must be what the smell is. This was a great theory, an excellent theory in fact, until I caught a glimpse of Emma out of the corner of my eye.

It's funny how many things can go through your mind in a split second- Where did she get chocolate from? The kids ate all the fudge covered shortbread yesterday. She must have found a stray melty M&M in her car seat. Hold on...that smell's still here and the fields are gone.... It was as these thoughts concluded that Emma said, "Mommy, my fingers are poopy." and traffic came to a standstill because of construction.

I won't write the thoughts or words that went through my mind at that juncture. I still want you to like me.

I phoned ahead to Richard in the truck. (Yes, we had 2 vehicles. Mainly because I think we enjoy wasting money on gas and he doesn't have to listen to my music. Just kidding....well, at least about the wasting money part.) Anyway...we pulled off the freeway into a parking lot and I opened the lift gate to retrieve the duffel bag containing the diapers and wipes.

It wasn't there.

I stood there for a brief second in disbelief at the state of my luck.

It was at home...sitting on my cedar chest...at the end of my bed...where I packed it.

Crap.

Literally.

That duffel bag also contained all of the kid's clothes; their jammies, play clothes, and dress clothes for the reception the next day. We needed that bag...and not only for Emma's 'fudgy' fingers.

Richard headed home to get the forgotten bag. I found some cleansing wipes in the first aid kit and attempted to get rid of the source of the smell before hitting the road and hightailing it to my mom's bathtub.

Somewhere between Lagoon and the Layton Hills Mall it occurred to me that God has to have a sense of humor and must enjoy coming up with creative ways in which to "bless" the lives of his children. Because the truth is we really needed that bag because according to MapQuest my parent's home is 74.4 miles and if I actually drove the speed limit, 1 hour and 20 minutes away from mine. Getting there without that bag would have thrown the biggest monster of a monkey wrench into the best laid plans. So I am grateful that He chose to send a blessing my way that night....even if it came disguised in something less than heavenly.

A No Brainer

2010-06-24T15:34:00.001-06:00

Photo Credit

If you love it and it's FREE, then why not?

Right?

That's right, there's no reason not to.

It's a no brainer.

Are you wondering what on earth I'm talking about? Well, let me tell you.

Some of you have expressed interest in my new blog header... it's pretty sweet I know, but what is even sweeter is that you can have your very own for FREE.

Yep, FREE.

For a limited time the creator is offering to make your blog its very own Alphabetography blog header to grace and liven the look of your blog for absolutely nothing.

How do you sign up for your very own little masterpiece?

You can get the details by clicking HERE.

And you better hurry! The offer is only good until tomorrow at noon.

I told you it was a no brainer.

What are you still doing here? GO! Don't even bother commenting....Time's a wastin'!

How I Know They Are Glad to be Home...

2010-06-22T16:09:00.002-06:00

Yesterday, I found myself mostly tethered to the bottom half of my house. I was busy getting caught up on laundry, paying bills, banking, returning e-mails, downloading pictures, reading blogs, and Facebook- you know doing the important stuff that has to be done after you've been away. The kids played relatively quietly upstairs. I rarely saw them except for the occasional request for a drink or meal. PJs weren't exchanged for clothes until friends showed up late in the day and when a friend suggested they play at his house my son declined, wanting to stay home. I couldn't blame him; it was nice to just stay where we were.

Later I went upstairs and found what had been keeping my little munchkins so busily employed. I knew that all of the Legos were being played with as I found two fully clothed children in the bathtub the night before (and a third who I would bet good money on was in the tub until he heard me coming in) testing the seaworthiness of their creations. But yesterday their creativity stretched from ships to forts and bases which were all promptly bombed and blown to smithereens in a myriad of different, yet ultimately cool ways.

Or so I hear.

Operation Destruction, in turn littered Emma's and the playroom with toys, stuffys, action figures, Legos, and books galore.

To describe it in a word- disaster.

Today, we made Mickey Mouse sugar cookies for the neighbors who helped out with the cat, turtle, and the pile of mail I forgot to suspend delivery of.

We also played with play dough.

Then we painted.

Basically, we just moved from one mess to another.

In other words, things at the Parke home are back to normal.

It's good to be back.

I think.

BTW- I don't always take picture of messes around my house. But my new camera finally came, after we left for Disneyland I might add, and he and I are taking some time and of course pictures in order to get to know one another.

Vacation Hang Over

2010-06-21T11:18:00.000-06:00

Vacations despite their good intentions, can be hard on you. The travel, lack of schedule, and just plain being out of your normal environment can take its toll on your psyche and physical body. Just ask poor Dallin.

After spending 11 hours on Saturday crammed in the back seat of our minivan with two brothers, countless souvenirs, and fast food wrappers as we made our way home from sunny/smoggy So Cal, I think the hour drive to visit our Grandpas yesterday pushed him over the edge.

After visiting with Grandma & Grandpa Parke, we made our way to Grandma Jeanne and Pop Marlin's house where Dallin, after complaining of a sick stomach, lost all color in his face and started to turn a ghastly shade of green. A trusty barf bucket was located and he took up residence on the floor of the upstairs bathroom. Richard checked in on him after a few minutes and this was what he found...

...poor Dallin suffering from a vacation hang over.

Luckily, it was nothing that a little nap on Grandma Jeanne's fluffy mauve bath mats couldn't fix.

Hmmm....Do you think those magic mats could help with the vacation laundry abyss that's awaiting me?

This Interruption Was Brought to You By....

2010-06-09T17:01:00.000-06:00

This 2+ week interruption Of a View from the Parke Bench was brought to you courtesy of the last week of school and the first week of summer vacation.

Events worthy of being too busy to post included;

-Benjamin's Pre-School graduation. He was beyond ready to move on from pre-school and is excited to start kindergarten in the fall. I, his mother, am really excited too. I think his pre-school teacher was ecstatic.

Dallin's acting debut in his class play/musical titled the "Three Piggy Opera". He played the part of one of the very nervous and shy straw peddlers.

As you can see he was a complete natural.

-Ashton's class award presentation where he received an award for making it into the "Foot Hall of Fame". To make it into the "Foot Hall of Fame," one must read as many books that are at least 120 pages as your foot is tall. And for a 5th grader whose feet are bigger than his mothers that is quite a feat. No pun intended.

The first week of summer;

-Memorial Day found us up north visiting with family, barbecuing, and sitting around the campfire. We made S'mores and a mess with these gigantic marshmallows that were about 4 times the size of a normal one.
They were awesome. Can you tell?

-Pedicures in the backyard. I did Emma's and she did mine. She gives a new definition to 'Glitter Toes'.

-A new chore system. Like anything new this is taking some getting used to and called for the resurrection of the "Nazi Mom".

(Sorry, no pictures are available because she ain't pretty.)

-Lessons in getting dressed by ourselves. These lesson include, but are not exclusive to the correct appendages in which underwear are applied.

(Note- If you are ever in need of a straight jacket try inserting the offending child's arms into the underwear and wrapping them around the shoulders. It works pretty well. I am considering this trick for all 4 children on our upcoming vacation.)

-Simply enjoying summer with my friends. Four of the best you'll ever meet.

Thank you for your patience. Regular posting, which is usually irregular at its best, will now resume into your regular blog reading which obviously, is already in progress.

*Sorry about all the camera phone pictures, but I figured bad pictures were better than no pictures at all.

My camera is having issues with its shutter and is currently awaiting surgery at the camera hospital. No need to fret, if by some unfortunate circumstance he does not return, a replacement is already on its way.

Definitely Devilishly Handsome

2010-05-24T12:26:00.000-06:00

Do you remember this photo?

Doesn't that oozing ooey gooey chocolate grin just make you want to squeeze those cheeks and kiss that nose dappled with freckles?

Okay...maybe not.

The result may not be very pleasant or cute. But you do have to admit that kid is charming, even if it is in a devilish sort of way.

Right?

Well, now that you've admitted it, you can let the rest of the cyber world know how devilishly handsome you think Ben is by clicking HERE and voting for him in a contest by Backroads Photography. You can even let them know multiple times since you may vote once a day up until Sunday, May 30th at midnight.

Thank You from Ben and me.

*And I promise that I will enter no more contests or ask for your help or participation in any way for a nice long while...or until there is another great contest to try to win.*

Remembering & Race Report

2010-05-20T15:36:00.004-06:00

The weather last Saturday was beautiful. I really couldn't have asked for it to be any better.

In Ogden Canyon it framed the lake and the surrounding mountains with the feel of summer; yet the chill of the air and one glance at Snowbasin, with its runs still blanketed in snow and I was reminded that spring had only just made her debut. Still those subtle reminders couldn't keep me from recalling all the good times in summers past that I've spent in that same canyon. From night hiking & fishing at Causey, to waterskiing on Pineview Reservoir with the Young Men and Young Women, to sluffing school to lay out at Cemetery Point trying to bronze myself into looking like the Hawaiian Tropic model, only to end up looking like a lobster. They were good times. Really good times; all of them, but that day they were distracting me from the task at hand- creating another memorable time.

One that I hoped would be under 2 hours.

So with memories set aside, I got back to work on completing my first half marathon.

And never has 'work' been more awesome until I reached the point where the 5K portion of race starts and this happened...

I ran the 5K last year so I knew when I had arrived towards the last part of the course. I figured that I just got excited that there were only 3 miles left and..... tripped. As I fell I tried to save my legs because I needed them to take me to the finish line, so I caught myself with my hands, then my elbow, then rolled to my left side, and landed on my hip.

My legs were unscathed, so I kept going.

The funniest part is that I didn't care that my elbow and knuckles were bleeding, that my hands were hashed, that my hip would have a bruise the size of a softball on it, or that I took a not-so-little roll on the pavement in front of about 75 people (okay, that one bothered me a little), what I cared about was that it all cost me seconds on the clock.

Seconds to get off the ground.

Seconds to assess myself and my injuries.

Seconds to get back up to my pace.

And even more seconds when a half a mile later I almost did it again before discovering my tripping culprit- my blasted untied shoelace.

That meant more seconds to finish untying and then retying the darn thing and more seconds to get up to pace again.

Ugh!

Luckily, I still made it to the finish line in less than 2 hours. My official finishing time ended up being 1:59:02.

I was thrilled!

I managed to make another memorable time...despite seconds lost.

Family Finishers

Natalie- 1:59:02, my SIL, Shaleece- 1:57:00, my brother, Dan- 1:51:08, my brother Nate, 2:12:55

This was the first time running a half marathon for Dan, Nathan & me.

My time on my running watch. Check out my distance in the right hand corner. I went over a half a mile more than the 13.15 miles of the course. I guess I need to learn to run and stay in a straight line.

Things I don't want to forget:

*My mom was there to cheer us on and see us at the finish line.

*Richard had all 4 kids up, dressed, and there to meet me at the finish line.

*My brother Nate, who trained only about once a week and only got up to a maximum mileage of 7 miles on a treadmill came in only 13 almost 14 minutes behind me. He sucks, but I still love him

*The man along the course with the sprinkler and the other spectators that blew bubbles for us to chase.

*The site of clothes flying off up into the air and off to the side of the road as everyone started to heat up and shed their long sleeves as we climbed the one and only hill.

* That I came into the finish line listening to "Wonderful" by Gary Go. Not exactly the heart pounding, adrenaline pumping music I had planned on, but I found it very fitting so it became just what I needed to carry me across.

*And most of all, the tributes to little Ethan Stacy, who lost his life by the hands of his stepfather and whose mother tried to cover it up by burying his body in a unmarked grave at Powder Mountain just north of our start line. On Saturday, I think we all ran for Ethan. I know a part of me did.

Benism: The Wasp

2010-05-18T22:40:00.000-06:00

Today Ben found a wasp trying to make its way into our house. He couldn't have that nasty thing getting in where it might sting us, so he took it upon himself to annihilate it- with a squirt gun. What else?

I worried he would end up just really ticking it off and instead of worrying about getting stung in the house he would need to start worrying about getting stung in the yard. But come to find out, Ben is a pretty good shot. He had that wasp on the ground in no time where I swiftly stepped on it. (Is it just me or are there a lot of posts about dead animals lately?)

Anyways, I forgot all about the wasp until tonight at bedtime when Ben mentioned that he needed to tell me something. As he led me into another room away from eavesdropping siblings, I wondered what horrible thing he was going to confess to doing now. I was surprisingly somewhat relieved when I knelt down to look into his eyes and he confessed in a whisper,

"You remember that wasp we killed today? I 'accidently' touched it with my mouth."

???

CPR perhaps?

Maybe he felt bad and tried to kiss it better?

Don't ask... because I didn't either. It has been one of those days and I didn't think I could handle the real answer.

But apparently, it is definitely something that needs confessing to your mom.

The Secret to Recovery

2010-05-17T13:28:00.001-06:00

At 5:00 yesterday morning I was awakened by the sound of my name. I worked to peel myself off the love seat where I had fallen asleep when my body gave out late Saturday night. After a busy Saturday of finishing my first half marathon, attending a bridal shower for my niece, and a belated Mother's Day dinner with my family, the 13 stairs to my bed were too much; I simply couldn't go any further. But at 5 a.m. with much effort I made it up those stairs and to the source of the call of my name. It was Ashton, hot with fever and a really sore throat.

He was given a drink and I took my sore quads back down the stairs to locate the thermometer. By the time I got back up to his room he was complaining of nausea and asking for a bucket, so my sore quads and I went down the stairs again to retrieve a basin. We made it back just in time.

After a few more trips up and down the stairs of agony, I made my bed on the playroom couch right outside his room, but I didn't sleep; luckily, Ashton did. When he woke up he felt better in the way that you do after you have almost turned yourself inside out beginning with your stomach and the exhaustive sleep that follows. He called to me and I went in to find a wide eyed excited looking boy. He said, "Wow, I feel better." I replied with some remark of how glad I was. He continued as serious as can be, "I guess while I slept my white blood cells must have opened a spicy can of kick-butt on that virus." I nodded and smiled and after trying to hold it in, I laughed. How could I not? A spicy can of kick-butt. Where do they come up with this stuff?

(My sickie)

The thing is that spicy can of kick-butt must have not been spicy enough since his fever and sore throat stuck around and he stayed home from school today. So if you happen to know where I can find a can that is spicy enough- please, let me know. I have 3 other children that love to play follow the leader.

Not Meant to Be

2010-05-16T18:01:00.024-06:00

(Jason before his watery burial)

The morning after this post we found Jason, the goldfish, floating lifelessly in the fish tank.

Two down, one to go.

And "going" didn't take long.

We buried the third and last goldfish, Cocoa, under the raspberries this morning.

Three goldfish dead in the space of a week under our care.

Does it make you a little worried about my children?

Don't be.

I promise that we fed them enough, changed the water using the water conditioner, and made sure the water temperature was right. We did everything we were supposed to do.

It was just not meant to be.

Hallelujah!!!!

And you know what? Nobody seems to feel that bad.

Especially me.

(Oh, and I think we will change "Nice Crab's" name to Houdini, since it seems he has just disappeared... out of the fish tank... that has a lid on it. Gone. Just like that into thin air.)

Weekend Plans

2010-05-14T07:03:00.005-06:00

The little red line is where I will be tomorrow.

(Ogden's Half Marathon Route)

Please, wish me luck, say a little prayer for me, or just come to my funeral if I don't make it.

Either way, I'll see you on the other side.

Dreams and Nightmares

2010-05-13T21:21:00.000-06:00

Easter morning Ashton woke up after having a dream about owning a turtle with the desire and determination to have one of his own. Last Friday night, that dream came true since he had worked hard for and saved enough money to finally buy this Russian Tortoise.

Her name is Ricky; the short and feminine version of Richard, Ashton's dad. Can you tell my kids idolize their father?

I was not particularly fond of the thought of this purchase, but look at the smile on that boy's face? He even kissed her shell the other day when he took her school. Gross, I know. But how do you say "no" to a love like that? If you're a sucker like me, you don't....and you end up the co-owner of a turtle that will probably outlive you.

And this is where my nightmare begins.

You can't have 4 kids and have only one of them get a pet. The others let out cries of unfairness and protest favoritism, so your husband takes them to the store and comes home with ...no not another turtle, but 3 goldfish and 2 very creepy arachnid-esqe crabs. I know it is probably just payback from all the birds, lizards, hermit crabs, and turtles that I as a girl tormented my own parents with. But fish? Why did they have to want fish? Really, is there any pet stinkier than fish?

Anyway, our aquatic family members have been dubbed Cocoa, Jason, and Chad (who as of yesterday, is now swimming in the greater waters above. YES! I mean...How sad). Ben's crab is named Anchor and Emma's is "Nice Crab" as she so lovingly calls it.

Within the space of 24 hours we went from being a one psychotic cat family to a seven blended pet family.

A horrific nightmare, indeed.

Now I have ~~six~~ five more strange, stinky, slimy, scaly, somewhat freaky, and helpless individuals to help take care of....

Okay, maybe it is do-able.

It's not too much of a stretch from having kids.

Just kidding...I really do love them.

The kids that is.

Why Can't We All Just Get Along?

2010-05-11T09:28:00.008-06:00

“Cause we're all we got on this bouncing ball”
-John Ondrasik

A friend of mine received some correspondence a few days ago. Most often, correspondence can be a good thing; a note from a friend, a message of encouragement, or even a reminder. The correspondence my friend received was none of these things. In fact, it was the complete opposite- hurtful, hateful, and just plain mean.

It bothered me. And truthfully, I think it bothered my friend…. a little. Being ever the optimist, they managed to find the good in it all and could laugh and joke about it. But behind the smile, jokes, and optimism it was still there- a tiny little glimmer of hurt. How could it not, even just a little bit? I knew how those things made me feel and they weren’t even directed at me.

I wanted to turn around and give the offending person a tongue lashing of my own. Then the thought struck me, “What good would that do?” I thought about it for a few hours and concluded that my answer was, “Nothing. I would just make someone else feel the way my friend does.” And whether they deserved it or not, I don’t want to be that kind of person.

After all, when everything has been said and done, nothing has been resolved, the environment for healing has not been established, and in most cases, no one feels any better. Sure there may be that temporary euphoria of getting something off your chest, but that feeling soon fades and you are left back feeling the way you did before your venting session and, if you are like me, you feel worse.

It really reminds me of the Coffee Shop scene in the film “You’ve Got Mail”. Meg Ryan’s character Kathleen Kelly, is waiting to finally meet the man she met and has been getting to know in an online chat room. Instead of Prince Charming, her nemesis (or so she thinks), Joe Fox, shows up. Usually, when Kathleen is confronted she clams up and is unable to say what she wants to…until that night. That night she has a ‘breakthrough’ and is able to say exactly what she wants to say, when she wants to say it. She is elated she has been finally able to say all the nasty things that have been floating around in her head about Joe Fox. Though to her dismay, after all the rude comebacks and insults have flown out of her mouth she is instantly filled with regret and feels worse about the person she is or has come to be.

I guess what I’m getting to is that.... life is hard enough with out intentionally trying making it harder for one another. So why can’t we all just get along? My mom always told me while I was growing up, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” I think at 33 years old, I will finally start to obey my mother.

Maybe we all should.

Dear Mom, My Mother's Day Apology

2010-05-10T10:55:00.002-06:00

(The guilty parties responsible for me - my parents.)

Dear Mom,

I know this is late, so there is the first thing to apologize for. But this weekend was...crazy. I know only you could understand that. I also know you believe in "better late than never." So here it is late.

(Oh, and it's not an apology for screwing up dinner yesterday. But I am really sorry about that too.)

I apologize...
.... for all the times I made you worry needlessly. I now know how it feels.

.... for anytime I was disrespectful and sassed you. I now know how it feels.

.... if I made a mess and didn't clean it up. I now know how it feels.

.... for the times when I didn't obey when you asked me to do something. I now know how it feels.

.... if I ever demanded anything from you when you were so tired from working all day. I now know how it feels.

.... if I ever begged for something, that you really wanted to give me, but couldn't. I now know how it feels.

.... if I changed my clothes multiple times a day creating bigger piles of laundry for you. I now know how it feels.

.... if I ever got frustrated with you for not knowing how to help me with my homework. I now know how it feels.

.... when I got upset when you were only trying to help me. I now know how it feels.

.... if you ever sacrificed so that I could have or do something that I felt was important. I now know how it feels.

.... if I ever spilled on, tracked mud on, or brushed crumbs onto your freshly mopped floor. I now know how it feels.

I am sorry, truly I am for all of these things, but I will not apologize for growing up, or leaving you to get married, or having four of the most amazing kids of my own to love because..... I now know how it feels to be a mother.

And it is the best feeling in the world.

Happy belated Mother's Day!

I love you.

Ahhh, To Be a Kid Again...

2010-05-05T22:03:00.003-06:00

This is just one of the many reason why I think it would be fun to be able to travel back in time and be a child again....

Laundry could be considered fun again......but unlike Ben, hopefully, I would retain some of my adult smarts and know better about wanting to stick my head into a functioning dryer.

Who knew a broken dryer could be so entertaining?

For them and me.

Kid-isms

2010-05-05T09:57:00.000-06:00

I haven't posted a Ben-ism for a while because....I've been accused.
Of being partial.
By my mother.

I tried to explain that I can't help it if Ben is the main child home during the day that speaks in full sentences and does and says the silliest things, but it just doesn't stick in my mother's brain. I need to spread the love around, my mother says. So I have conceded to my mother to include some posts about some things my other 3 kids say.
And the truth... is they do say some funny stuff too.
Thanks mother.

*Emma and I went shopping one day. Our first stop was the Distribution Center to pick up my new scriptures.
As we walked toward the store Emma asked, "What we buy this store?"
"We are getting mommy new scriptures."
"Get me scriptures too?"
"No. We'll buy you some when you turn 8 and get baptized."
(Really excited) "When I get my Holy Ghost?"

*Emma has taken after me and loves black "lick-lish". Only I call it "licorice".

*Dallin asked me what year it was in Canada.

*One morning as we hurried to get out of the door to school, Ashton asked Dallin, "Do you have lipstick on?" Dallin being embarrassed, hurried to wipe at his mouth as he emphatically declared, "NO!" I explained to both boys that his lips were just stained from the Popsicle he had for a bedtime snack the night before. Ashton seeming somewhat relieved replied, " 'Cause dude, that's just not your color."

*A few weeks ago we opened Ashton an e-mail account. The day after when he came home from school and I asked my usual "How was school?" question I was met with this very unusual and unexpected response as he ran upstairs- "I'll e-mail you."

Deep Thoughts and Burning Bosoms

2010-04-30T20:11:00.002-06:00

The vanity was as cluttered as my thoughts; random products from the past few days remain that there hasn't been time to sort and put neatly away.

Birthday gifts

Social Justice

Butter vs. margarine

Relief Society meals

Debbie Gibson's "Electric Youth"

Spray tans vs. farmer tans

Shoe shopping

12 miles

Scouts

I sleeked and smoothed, tweaked and twirled, primped and painted, while deep in thought- not particularly paying attention to or thinking about what I was doing.

And that's when it happened.

The wrinkles were too much to get away with....not many, but enough that the shirt would not button right. I tried applying water and tugging on it. The result was just a bunch of soggy wrinkles.

Dreading wasting time and energy dragging out the iron and ironing board for a tiny length of collar and shirt tail I continued working with my hair. Somewhere between deciding to leave my hair down and what to serve to basic strangers for dinner, brilliance struck. I was using a flat iron on my hair to smooth out the god given wrinkles in my hair why not use it on those in my shirt?

While continuing to straighten my hair my mind dove back into the difference between being forced to be or choosing to be charitable as Debbie's lyrics wafted around the room, "....the future belongs to the future itself....Electric Youth!" and with that triumphant 80's line, I finished ironing my tresses and moved swiftly to my collar. With one long drag of the iron the big bend sending my collar in the wrong direction was gone. I moved down where the mass of wrinkles surrounding the button holes were causing gaps and general untidiness to try the magic of my new found tool.

The button holes are on the right and for a right handed individual the little trick of maneuvering the 200+ degree flat iron became....a little.... awkward. Transfering it to the left hand produced better results, except for the cord. That serpentine, plastic, electricity filled lasso had managed to wrangle my elbow, bicep, and the vanity knob making its length incredibly short. One wrong move found the flat iron screeching to a halt and sending it into a free fall as it slipped out of my hand. Because of it's tethered length it didn't have far to go and instantly my chest experienced a very warm sensation which quickly transformed more into that of a burning one.

My bosom was burning!!!

And not in that good, warm, fuzzy way that deep thoughts and pondering usually produce, but in a flesh melting, why was I distracted, I almost gave myself a reduction by curettage kind of way. The iron, which seemed more like a branding iron now than anything, was quickly removed and thanks to protective undergarments burns were avoided and only mild tenderness remained.

So when using a flat iron DO NOT;

- get distracted by deep thoughts, political subjects, or 80's music that may hinder your normal thought process,

-try to manipulate the device with your non-dominant hand,

-think you are brilliant to use the device to iron down the facing around button holes of shirts....

....unless you are brilliant enough to actually remove the shirt first.

Mommy Retreat

2010-04-26T16:10:00.002-06:00

Moving is always difficult; in one way or another, there is always hardship involved. When we moved to Provo from British Columbia, I found this to be particularly true. Although we loved our time in Canada, our move here was a good thing; we were back in the states, we were closer to family, and we bought our first home. Things were good. Life was good. But there was still a void. The void was that feeling of security that living in a place that feels like home brings. I figured that in time the void would be filled and Provo would finally feel like home and I was right....only it took a little longer than I thought.

In late October, I was invited to and started attending a weekly Craft Night with these ladies.

In December, I told Richard that Provo finally felt like home. Coincidence? Maybe, but I don't think so. These ladies and some other associations have filled my void and given me that security that belonging brings.

Friday night, I went away for a night in Park City with some of these friends. We stayed in a 10 million dollar home complete with 5 master suites, 3 kitchens, theater room, elevator, and hot tub.

This particular home has been rented by the likes of Justin Timberlake & Jessica Biel (pre-split), Tony Romo, and Will Smith....and now my friends and I. Only we didn't have to pay the steep per night rental fee- we enjoyed ourselves for free (Thanks Kari & Duncan)! Seriously, it doesn't get any better than that.

We had dinner in Park City at the Loco Lizard and then headed up to the house.

Once we were there all the girl fun began....

We fit all 11 of us in the hot tub.

There was nail painting courtesy of Carrilyne.

Some of us even played in the snow....and then hopped right back in the hot tub to warm up.

We stayed up too late watching a movie in the theater and even later just talking in bed.

In the morning some slept in, but my internal alarm would not let me. At 6:28 I woke to find this view from my window. It was amazing....even if Bigfoot didn't walk by (This is an inside joke for Chastina my roommate for the night and awesome backyard neighbor).

Bummer.

At 7:00, when I realized I wasn't going to go back to sleep, I laid in bed and read for the next hour and a half which was as welcome as sleeping in would've been.

When everyone was awake and dressed we left to go and do what girls do best....shop!

Only I must not be very good at it because the 2 things I went looking for I came home without. Oh well, I guess there will just have to be a next time.

When we were worn out from shopping and lack of sleep, we headed back to Provo. When I arrived Richard was hard at work building shelves for our food storage in the crawl space, which only meant one thing- the kids, especially the boys, had been left to their own devices.

This is never a good thing.

One has to wonder what happened in my absence, when you find my youngest dressed in Halloween clothes, a full sized shovel in the middle of the kitchen, every surface of said kitchen covered, and a mystery substance on the floor that is wet yet very sticky.......never mind, I don't want to know.

It doesn't matter anyway, I was home.

The Comical Truth About Utah and its Weather

2010-04-25T21:32:00.005-06:00

I love humor.

If you are quick with the wit, I will be your biggest fan. In fact, some of you may not know it, but this is one of Richard's most endearing qualities. Hence, I am his biggest fan, but I also find Jeff Foxworthy to be very chuckle-able. Of course, I love his redneck jokes, but his other material is also quite humorous and for the most part, clean too. I'm a little giddy when we are able to catch a re-run of his Blue Collar Comedy Tour on the Comedy Channel, because between Jeff and his cohorts, it is usually a good hour or so of pure amusement.

The thing that makes their material so comical is the element of truth behind it. It is this element of truth that we relate to because somewhere along the way we've met someone or had an experience that is the reality behind the satire.

I was reminded about this element of truth the other day as I ran in the rain. I am a bad weather running wimp, so this was a first for me- but besides looking like a drowned rat when I got home it was awesome! As I dodged and hurdled puddles I thought of the previous day's weather- I woke up to snow...I barbequed that evening under a almost cloudless blue sky...and went to bed that night with my window slightly cracked open which was quickly shut at some unearthly hour due to the wind that began to usher in the storm in which I was then running. Can you say crazy? Unpredictable? Perhaps, even hyperactive? Such is the weather in Utah.

But that day I found it comical due to an e-mail my mom forwarded to me a few days earlier. It was titled "Foxworthy on Utah" and contained many jokes related to the haphazard weather we in Utah, love or loathe so much. Now I don't know if Foxworthy really came up with these, but I still got a chuckle and I hope you do too.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Utah.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Utah.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you live in Utah.

If 'vacation' means going anywhere south of Salt Lake City for the weekend, you live in Utah.

If you measure distance in hours, you live in Utah.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Utah.

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' and back again in the same day, you live in Utah.

If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both doors unlocked, you live in Utah.

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Utah.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in Utah.

If the speed limit on the highway is 75 mph -- you're going 80, and everyone is still passing you, you live in Utah.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in Utah.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in Utah.

If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly' you live in Utah.

If you actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your friends, you live in Utah.

I guess now in that last line you can add the words "or post in on your blog," but he truth remains the same I understood and laughed at every one. So yes, I am from Utah, born and bred....and Ill even admit, I'm proud of it.....wacky weather and all.

Spring Marathon: Odds & Ends

2010-04-20T22:01:00.003-06:00

Just a few small experiences and tid bits to wrap up our Spring Break (esp. since it ended a week and a half ago)....

*Ashton had a dream that he had a pet turtle and he has driven us crazy wanting one since. We did find a very nice 20 gallon aquarium complete with a screened lid which normally sells for $80-100 for $8 at our local DI! Woo HOO! SCORE! Now he is saving to buy a $109 turtle which is supposed to live for 35 years...for that much money the dang thing should live forever.

*Price is a great place to buy leftover Easter candy at discounted prices. Especially, the huge Reeses Peanut Butter Eggs. I bought 3 at half price. I wish I would've bought more...but then again I went swimsuit shopping yesterday morning and I think that 3 was probably 3 too many.

*I got the chance to be Octo-Mom for a day when 4 of my sister-in-law's children stayed with us while she went on her honeymoon. During this time, I was told that "I ROCK" because I made cinnamon rolls for breakfast and when I told my 8 year old nephew it was time to take him home he whined and asked if they really had to leave. When yes, was my reply he said, " No! We're gonna live here and YOU'RE gonna like it!" Well.....what do you say to that?
If I could have kids who thought I was that cool all the time, I might have 2 dozen! But for now I'll love being the "favorite aunt" and take this to mean that I'll make a fabulous grandma in 20 or 30 years...

*Upon leaving our adventure in Price we headed up the canyon towards home. As the van climbed the winding road we drove straight into a snow storm. The snow wasn't sticking to the road, but the fluffy flakes were coming down fast enough that it made it somewhat difficult to see and with windy roads and oncoming traffic it was enough to make one a little nervous, even with a trusted leader to follow.
Since we had forgotten to have a prayer before we got on the road, I decided that that moment would be an appropriate time. Since Ashton had offered one the night before when we left Goblin Valley, Ashton's friend Matthew, was asked to do the honors. A short and simple prayer was offered and I don't think "Amen" had even left his lips when the snow seemed to abruptly stop.
All three boys were astonished at the instant change and each commented on how cool it was that our prayer was answered. Who knows....it may have just been that at that exact moment we reached the summit and came out of the storm.....or maybe not.
I like to believe the latter.
After all, that is what those three boys believe happened and aren't we admonished to become like little children? Whatever it was, I know it is an experience we all won't soon forget.

*I changed the oil in our van on the Friday that Spring Break started. The following Saturday when I was driving home from eating at Utah Noodle in Ogden for Grandpa Parke's 74th birthday, I looked down at the odometer and realized that by the time I arrived home I would've gone 1000 miles over the course of the last week.
Wow. It really was a Spring Marathon.

Spring Marathon: Brides & Baseball

2010-04-17T09:07:00.000-06:00

On Friday, April 9th, we had the opportunity to witness Richard's sister, Mary's marriage and sealing in the Manti temple. We are really grateful that she found DJ and for the love and respect he shows her. We couldn't have asked for anyone to love her more and that is a great blessing.

Unfortunately, that pesky wind from earlier in the week continued to follow me and this time it had a bite to it. It was too cold to stick around the temple grounds after the ceremony to capture any pictures of the wedding party consisting of DJ and Mary's 9 kids (combined) decked out in their red and black finest.... but I will just tell you they were a very handsome looking bunch.

Another reason to not hang around besides the wind, is that our tummies were talking. Since it was going to be hours before the wedding dinner we made a stop at the Malt Shop in Ephraim, for a snack of french fries, onion rings, and shakes- like peanut butter Reese's peanut butter cup, my favorite.

After we all had sufficiently gorged ourselves on french fried fatty goodness, we headed back to Moroni for the ring ceremony, wedding dinner, and eventually, the reception complete with cookie buffet.

But what do you do when you have six families who are an hour or two away from home, dressed in their Sunday best, and have 2 hours to kill before the reception starts?

You play baseball....of course!

A few locals had challenged our boys to a game, so a few of the adults decided to get in there and help them out.

It was a blast.

We had fun imagining what the Moronites might be saying about "City Folk" who play baseball in dressy clothes. As we see it, they probably think we are the epitome of awesome and have now started playing baseball in their own church clothes.

I even had a nice hit out behind second base.

It could have been a homerun if I would have slid into home plate.

But I figure there some things you just shouldn't do in a dress.

Congratulations Mary and DJ!

May you have many more happy years together.

Spring Marathon: Price & the Dinosaur Museum

2010-04-14T22:00:00.003-06:00

As we returned from the hike in Little Wild Horse Canyon and pulled into the parking lot of our campground there was commotion all around. It only took one look at my own tent to guess what everyone else was excited about. The wind had significantly picked up while we were gone and the fiberglass poles of my tent and others in our camp were no match against it. My tent was flattened, others in our group had been blown down, and Ashton and Matthew's tent had everything covered with sand.

No biggie... We had a minivan we could sleep in- the boys in the back on an air mattress and me across the front seats. Others in our group planned to take shelter for the night in their own vehicles or in the stronger spring pole tents. The problem was solved....or so we thought.

Around dinner time the wind really picked up as a storm blew in. When we made a barricade to block the wind from blowing the cheese off of our sandburgers as they finished cooking and the stronger spring pole tents toppled over like dominoes a decision was made that things were only getting worse, so it was time to pack up and head home.

Everyone flew into take down mode. I was astonished at how quickly camp came down and we were on the road home. It was really impressive how well everyone worked together.

At a little after 9pm we were headed toward Green River to top off on gas and fill up on caffeine for the long drive ahead of us. On the way to Green River I was tempted to get a hotel because exhaustion was setting in and I wasn't sure I could safely make it home. The decision was made for me since we found out that Provo was having a snowstorm and Spanish Fork Canyon had snow covered roads and patches of black ice, so the group decided to continue on to Price and get a hotel there.

So with one room for the girls and one room for the boys we found somewhere to sleep for the night. And can I tell you...a hotel room floor has never felt so good. I was so tired that the next morning I had to apologize to the lady I had been talking to before I feel asleep, because one minute I was lucid and into our conversation and the next minute all of the caffeine from my Dr. Pepper wore off and I was out. Like a light. And according to my hubby, I probably need to apologize to the whole room of girls because apparently when I am really exhausted I snore like a grizzly. Anyway...

After a goodnight's rest we made a trip to the College of Eastern Utah's Dinosaur Museum and a Chinese Buffet before heading home. The boys really enjoyed the whole museum, but my favorite part was the Native American displays. As we looked at projectile points (Did you know that is what they call arrowheads now?), woven baskets and pottery, grinding stones and dioramas of different tribes living conditions, I was struck with what a lazy amenity blessed life I lead. It was really humbling and well worth the stop. It made me really appreciate the hot shower I had that morning even more than I already did and after two days in the blowing sand that's saying a lot.

I guess they didn't get enough of playing in the sand in Goblin Valley.

Dallin- too cool.

Showing the dinosaur some love.

Me and the boys tee-peeing it.

Spring Marathon: Goblin Valley

2010-04-13T15:17:00.006-06:00

I had a nasty tension headache perhaps triggered by the way I cried when I left my two youngest with my parents before starting the 4 hour drive from West Point to Goblin Valley State Park, but as we entered the desert country of eastern Utah my tension gave way to anticipation. Mostly because I was greeted by views like this...

Absolutely

A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!

How to describe Goblin Valley?

Well, have you ever been somewhere that represents a creation from the deep recesses of your imagination or a scene from a science fiction movie?

That is what Goblin Valley is.

I had never been there before and I can only describe my first view of the goblins as surreal.

There they were stretched out before us...

...a playground of mushroom like goblins waiting to be climbed upon and hid among, beckoning us to come play.

So we did.

Unfortunately, the wind that is partly responsible for the shaping of the surrounding landscape was trying its best to do the same with us. It hurled a fine mist of sand that dug at any exposed and vulnerable places and sucked the moisture from our skin leaving the same web-like pattern on my hands as the cracked and parched desert floor. It demonstrated its power all night long ripping and tearing at our tent and stealing my nights sleep. But morning came with beautiful blue skies and weather perfect for hiking, so our group caravanned to Little Wild Horse Canyon trail head and set out.

The wind still relentlessly blew the sand in our faces, but nothing could have kept me from enjoying this hike.

I am a tactile person. I simply enjoy touching things. I make connections with people and objects through the sense of touch. The erosion patterns along the way were like a tapestry of texture just calling out to me to touch them. It may have slowed me down, but I enjoyed myself immensely.

Besides, there were friends all along the way to make connections with.

We were lucky enough to have been able to bring Ashton's friend Matthew, with us. The boys had a great time exploring, climbing, bouldering, and just being boys.

All in all, we had a fabulous time in Goblin Valley during Expedition Red Rock.

Even with the sand blowing, my tent breaking, and my car battery dying twice I really hope there is a trip next year....

...because the only thing the sand etched upon us is the fantastic memory of a one of a kind adventure.

And I can't wait to do it again.