We had just made an international move from a place that we loved to a place we weren't sure we would end up loving just as much. We had purchased a home, accomplished various improvement projects, finished the basement, replaced all of the flooring, and painted until I couldn't see straight. All of this we did within six months of moving back to Utah.
I was tired...and pregnant on top of that.
It was time to have another baby that much I knew deep down, I just wasn't very excited about it like I had been about the others. My only hope was that I would have a girl.
At our ultrasound appointment I was sure the technician was going to tell us it was going to be another boy- 99.9% sure, so when she announced it was a girl I about went into shock. Apparently, I wasn't the only one. Ashton got really upset and started saying nasty things like the boys were going to pull her hair and lock her in the crawlspace. We managed to leave the office without DCFS being called and it hit me again- I was going to have a girl!
I was relieved. I was elated. I was back to being terrified again.
I had three brothers and no sisters. I have three boys. I have always naturally gotten along better with boys than girls. Boys were easy, girls on the other hand....well, honestly, I didn't know much about girls- even though I am one! But I needed to find out quick because we were going to get a girl even though I kept asking myself, "What would we ever do with her?"
Well, almost four years, and one beautiful baby girl with big soft brown eyes later, I still ask myself questions regarding what we should do with her- only now the questions have changed slightly. Now I ask myself, "What would we ever do without her?"