Thursday, June 30, 2011

Where Sasquatch Really Come From

It had been a long day and it was barely six in the evening. I had already been up for over 12 hours and a jam packed 12 hours they had been. It started with setting up and then holding my first yard sale from which we went immediately into the season's last T-ball and Coach pitch games. From there a hurried hour drive took us to a baby shower for my niece Katie, who is expecting her first bundle of boy in September.

After basking in Katie's pregnant glow and gorging ourselves with lemon bars & various brownies, we pulled back onto I-15 to make our way home with a clear docket for the rest of the night. With the radio playing some of our favorite songs we settled in for the ride and I found myself lost in the hypnotic turning of the wheels when from behind me a chant began,

"PU-BER-TY! PU-BER-TY! PU-BER-TY!

At first, I wondered if I was so tired that I might actually be dreaming, but after stretching and shifting in my seat, the chant continued,

"PU-BER-TY! PU-BER-TY! PU-BER-TY!"

I concluded I was very much awake.

My next thought went to the possibility of the 5 Hour Energy shot I downed earlier and the Diet Coke I was currently sipping had created an overload of caffeine and was causing some sort of auditory hallucination. Because really, how would my almost seven year old know the word puberty? And why, in heaven and earth, would he be chanting it?

Certain my ears were deceiving me, I turned to Ashton sitting in the passenger seat wearing an amused look on his face as he shattered my theory.

"You know he's chanting puberty..."

Figuring I had to say something I decided on the blunt facts.

"Ben, you don't even know what puberty is."

The chanting ceased. Silence ensued. Wonderful, non-questioning silence.

Until Dallin in the far back decided to chime in.

"What is puberty, Mom?"

My mind shifted into high gear as I noticed Ashton stiffen a little in the seat next to me.

I decide to go with blunt facts again.

"It's when between the ages of 11-14 when your voice gets deeper and you start growing hair on your face, under arms and swimsuit area."

Agonizing groans erupt from the very back seat.

"Oh, NO! That should be illegal!"

Laughter from Ashton beside me.

Ben innocently asks, "So puberty is all about hair?"

Dallin, having suddenly become an expert, answers with, "Yep! Hair, hair, EVERYWHERE! Puberty pretty much changes you into a Sasquatch."

I turn the radio up a little louder and figure that would suffice....at least, for now.

13 comments:

Gerb said...

Well, after that little talk I'm thinking Richard gets to explain the birds and bees to Emma.

Anonymous said...

Something tells me that Ashton is awesome. Dallin is amazing, and Ben is rocking it. It's a good thing you have little, innocent Emma there, too...

Huffstuff said...

I laughed and laughed. Esp because I could see the look on their faces, you told it so well. Ahh those little moments in life. Gotta love em.

I will have to tell you about my little moments while on our trip that I think shocked my boys and made them want to crawl in a corner.

K said...

Oh, well written - and dang well done!! I read it outloud to Guy. I can't wait to get Ashton in my clutches. But as I think about it, I realize that it will be sooner than I would ever dream that it's Ben sitting in my class. Phooey. I shoulda read this in the morning - now I'm going to dream old. You made me laugh.

Ty n Casey's Mom said...

LOL! I love how boys handle the birds and bees. They don't stress, get traumatized or cry about it, they just make silly jokes with each other. Definitely agree that Richard gets "the talk" with Emma!

Hanna said...

hahahahahaha!!! I came downstaires and my mom was laughing her head off- I asked her what she was reading, and she showed me this!! It's HILARIOUS!!!

Chastina said...

Oh dear! How funny!

ModernMom said...

Bwhaha There is truly nothing better then the stories out of the mouths of babes:)

Life with Kaishon said...

Oh my gosh! That is too hilarious for words : ) So funny!

Rachel said...

Oh. My. Stinkin. HECK! Well, yeah. That pretty well sums it all up.

That was too funny Nat.

Anonymous said...

I think I will be laughing for hours over that one!! Hope all is well miss you!
LaRae

dbs said...

As awkward as it will likely be, I think now is the time to have the talk.... Good luck.

Kelly said...

My favorite part of this post is when you turn to Ashton and say "you know they are chanting puberty don't you?" It's like that came right out of a scene from Everybody Loves Raymond...