Why Can't We All Just Get Along?

“Cause we're all we got on this bouncing ball”
-John Ondrasik

A friend of mine received some correspondence a few days ago. Most often, correspondence can be a good thing; a note from a friend, a message of encouragement, or even a reminder. The correspondence my friend received was none of these things. In fact, it was the complete opposite- hurtful, hateful, and just plain mean.

It bothered me. And truthfully, I think it bothered my friend…. a little. Being ever the optimist, they managed to find the good in it all and could laugh and joke about it. But behind the smile, jokes, and optimism it was still there- a tiny little glimmer of hurt. How could it not, even just a little bit? I knew how those things made me feel and they weren’t even directed at me.

I wanted to turn around and give the offending person a tongue lashing of my own. Then the thought struck me, “What good would that do?” I thought about it for a few hours and concluded that my answer was, “Nothing. I would just make someone else feel the way my friend does.” And whether they deserved it or not, I don’t want to be that kind of person.

After all, when everything has been said and done, nothing has been resolved, the environment for healing has not been established, and in most cases, no one feels any better. Sure there may be that temporary euphoria of getting something off your chest, but that feeling soon fades and you are left back feeling the way you did before your venting session and, if you are like me, you feel worse.

It really reminds me of the Coffee Shop scene in the film “You’ve Got Mail”. Meg Ryan’s character Kathleen Kelly, is waiting to finally meet the man she met and has been getting to know in an online chat room. Instead of Prince Charming, her nemesis (or so she thinks), Joe Fox, shows up. Usually, when Kathleen is confronted she clams up and is unable to say what she wants to…until that night. That night she has a ‘breakthrough’ and is able to say exactly what she wants to say, when she wants to say it. She is elated she has been finally able to say all the nasty things that have been floating around in her head about Joe Fox. Though to her dismay, after all the rude comebacks and insults have flown out of her mouth she is instantly filled with regret and feels worse about the person she is or has come to be.

I guess what I’m getting to is that.... life is hard enough with out intentionally trying making it harder for one another. So why can’t we all just get along? My mom always told me while I was growing up, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” I think at 33 years old, I will finally start to obey my mother.

Maybe we all should.