Not Meant to Be

(Jason before his watery burial)

The morning after this post we found Jason, the goldfish, floating lifelessly in the fish tank.

Two down, one to go.

And "going" didn't take long.

We buried the third and last goldfish, Cocoa, under the raspberries this morning.

Three goldfish dead in the space of a week under our care.

Does it make you a little worried about my children?

Don't be.

I promise that we fed them enough, changed the water using the water conditioner, and made sure the water temperature was right. We did everything we were supposed to do.

It was just not meant to be.

Hallelujah!!!!

And you know what?  Nobody seems to feel that bad.

Especially me.

(Oh, and I think we will change "Nice Crab's" name to Houdini, since it seems he has just disappeared... out of the fish tank... that has a lid on it. Gone. Just like that into thin air.)

Weekend Plans

The little red line is where I will be tomorrow.

(Ogden's Half Marathon Route)

Please, wish me luck, say a little prayer for me, or just come to my funeral if I don't make it.

Either way, I'll see you on the other side.

Dreams and Nightmares

Easter morning Ashton woke up after having a dream about owning a turtle with the desire and determination to have one of his own. Last Friday night, that dream came true since he had worked hard for and saved enough money to finally buy this Russian Tortoise.

Her name is Ricky; the short and feminine version of Richard, Ashton's dad. Can you tell my kids idolize their father?

I was not particularly fond of the thought of this purchase, but look at the smile on that boy's face? He even kissed her shell the other day when he took her school. Gross, I know. But how do you say "no" to a love like that? If you're a sucker like me, you don't....and you end up the co-owner of a turtle that will probably outlive you.

And this is where my nightmare begins. 

You can't have 4 kids and have only one of them get a pet. The others let out cries of unfairness and protest favoritism, so your husband takes them to the store and comes home with ...no not another turtle, but 3 goldfish and 2 very creepy arachnid-esqe crabs. I know it is probably just payback from all the birds, lizards, hermit crabs, and turtles that I as a girl tormented my own parents with. But fish? Why did they have to want fish? Really, is there any pet stinkier than fish?


Anyway, our aquatic family members have been dubbed Cocoa, Jason, and Chad (who as of yesterday, is now swimming in the greater waters above. YES! I mean...How sad). Ben's crab is named Anchor and Emma's is "Nice Crab" as she so lovingly calls it.
 

Within the space of 24 hours we went from being a one psychotic cat family to a seven blended pet family.

A horrific nightmare, indeed.

Now I have six five more strange, stinky, slimy, scaly, somewhat freaky, and helpless individuals to help take care of....

Okay, maybe it is do-able.

It's not too much of a stretch from having kids.

Just kidding...I really do love them.

The kids that is.

Why Can't We All Just Get Along?

“Cause we're all we got on this bouncing ball”
-John Ondrasik

A friend of mine received some correspondence a few days ago. Most often, correspondence can be a good thing; a note from a friend, a message of encouragement, or even a reminder. The correspondence my friend received was none of these things. In fact, it was the complete opposite- hurtful, hateful, and just plain mean.

It bothered me. And truthfully, I think it bothered my friend…. a little. Being ever the optimist, they managed to find the good in it all and could laugh and joke about it. But behind the smile, jokes, and optimism it was still there- a tiny little glimmer of hurt. How could it not, even just a little bit? I knew how those things made me feel and they weren’t even directed at me.

I wanted to turn around and give the offending person a tongue lashing of my own. Then the thought struck me, “What good would that do?” I thought about it for a few hours and concluded that my answer was, “Nothing. I would just make someone else feel the way my friend does.” And whether they deserved it or not, I don’t want to be that kind of person.

After all, when everything has been said and done, nothing has been resolved, the environment for healing has not been established, and in most cases, no one feels any better. Sure there may be that temporary euphoria of getting something off your chest, but that feeling soon fades and you are left back feeling the way you did before your venting session and, if you are like me, you feel worse.

It really reminds me of the Coffee Shop scene in the film “You’ve Got Mail”. Meg Ryan’s character Kathleen Kelly, is waiting to finally meet the man she met and has been getting to know in an online chat room. Instead of Prince Charming, her nemesis (or so she thinks), Joe Fox, shows up. Usually, when Kathleen is confronted she clams up and is unable to say what she wants to…until that night. That night she has a ‘breakthrough’ and is able to say exactly what she wants to say, when she wants to say it. She is elated she has been finally able to say all the nasty things that have been floating around in her head about Joe Fox. Though to her dismay, after all the rude comebacks and insults have flown out of her mouth she is instantly filled with regret and feels worse about the person she is or has come to be.

I guess what I’m getting to is that.... life is hard enough with out intentionally trying making it harder for one another. So why can’t we all just get along? My mom always told me while I was growing up, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” I think at 33 years old, I will finally start to obey my mother.

Maybe we all should.

Dear Mom, My Mother's Day Apology

(The guilty parties responsible for me - my parents.)

Dear Mom,

I know this is late, so there is the first thing to apologize for. But this weekend was...crazy. I know only you could understand that. I also know you believe in  "better late than never." So here it is late.

(Oh, and it's not an apology for screwing up dinner yesterday. But I am really sorry about that too.)

I apologize...
.... for all the times I made you worry needlessly. I now know how it feels.

.... for anytime I was disrespectful and sassed you. I now know how it feels.

.... if I made a mess and didn't clean it up. I now know how it feels.

.... for the times when I didn't obey when you asked me to do something. I now know how it feels.

.... if I ever demanded anything from you when you were so tired from working all day. I now know how it feels.

.... if I ever begged for something, that you really wanted to give me, but couldn't. I now know how it feels.

.... if I changed my clothes multiple times a day creating bigger piles of laundry for you. I now know how it feels.

.... if I ever got frustrated with you for not knowing how to help me with my homework. I now know how it feels.

.... when I got upset when you were only trying to help me. I now know how it feels.

.... if you ever sacrificed so that I could have or do something that I felt was important. I now know how it feels.

.... if I ever spilled on, tracked mud on, or brushed crumbs onto your freshly mopped floor. I now know how it feels.

I am sorry, truly I am for all of these things, but I will not apologize for growing up, or leaving you to get married, or having four of the most amazing kids of my own to love because..... I now know how it feels to be a mother.

And it is the best feeling in the world.

Happy belated Mother's Day!

I love you.

Ahhh, To Be a Kid Again...

This is just one of the many reason why I think it would be fun to be able to travel back in time and be a child again....

Laundry could be considered fun again......but unlike Ben, hopefully, I would retain some of my adult smarts and know better about wanting to stick my head into a functioning dryer.

Who knew a broken dryer could be so entertaining?

For them and me.

Kid-isms

I haven't posted a Ben-ism for a while because....I've been accused.
Of being partial.
By my mother.

I tried to explain that I can't help it if Ben is the main child home during the day that speaks in full sentences and does and says the silliest things, but it just doesn't stick in my mother's brain. I need to spread the love around, my mother says. So I have conceded to my mother to include some posts about some things my other 3 kids say.
And the truth... is they do say some funny stuff too.
Thanks mother.


*Emma and I went shopping one day. Our first stop was the Distribution Center to pick up my new scriptures.
As we walked toward the store Emma asked, "What we buy this store?"
"We are getting mommy new scriptures." 
"Get me scriptures too?"
"No. We'll buy you some when you turn 8 and get baptized."
(Really excited) "When I get my Holy Ghost?"

*Emma has taken after me and loves black "lick-lish". Only I call it "licorice".

*Dallin asked me what year it was in Canada.

*One morning as we hurried to get out of the door to school, Ashton asked Dallin, "Do you have lipstick on?" Dallin being embarrassed, hurried to wipe at his mouth as he emphatically declared, "NO!"  I explained to both boys that his lips were just stained from the Popsicle he had for a bedtime snack the night before. Ashton seeming somewhat relieved replied, " 'Cause dude, that's just not your color."  

*A few weeks ago we opened Ashton an e-mail account. The day after when he came home from school and I asked my usual "How was school?" question I was met with this very unusual and unexpected response as he ran upstairs- "I'll e-mail you."