Kid-isms

*The pictures in this post are courtesy of my old laptop and my very first digital camera- which by the way, leaves a lot to be desired, since my good laptop and all recent pictures that have been captured are in the shop. Again.*


Dallin Said...

"I don't like this closet...it's weird. It stares at me."

The Sunday morning before the Primary Program Presentation- "I have my faith filled boxers on, so I'm going to be just fine."

"I don't think it's cold enough to get ammonia yet..."

"My bladder's gettin' ANGRY!"

Boxer Boy?

"Mom, you know what? Cleats are like high heels."

"If Orcs come to the U.S. I'm gonna join the Army with my cross bow and take those suckas out!"

"Mom, we should get an emergency kit in the car."
"That's a good idea, Dallin."
"Yeah, we should put things in it we might need like bottled water, food, deodorant, blankets, flashlights...."

Look at those brown eyed boys loving their new sister who would end up with their same beautiful color of eyes.

Dallin's comment after the large mirror that hung in our living room was broken recently and taken down- "Mom, I miss that mirror because now I can't just sit and look at myself..."

Ben-isms


To Richard while he's handing out foreign money to the kids for their collections after returning from a business trip to the Philippines, with stops in Tokyo & Hong Kong- "Come on! That's only ten cents in Japateens."

"You know what kind of meat is my favorite? That kind of chewy, Chinese meat, that almost chokes me. It is soooo good."

What real happy nappers look like.

"Dad, do you get money for your job?"
"Well, yeah."
"Oh. I thought you just got hotel points."

Ben appears in the kitchen dressed in nothing else but his underwear. With his chest puffed out and his hands planted firmly on each hip he declares- "I'm underwear boy and I feel POWERFUL!"

Ben- "Let me be the baby."

Ben turns to me after about 10 minutes of nice Saturday morning cuddling and says, "I love to cuddle with you, Mom. Especially since you don't seem to mind I keep farting on you."

And one for all of the Parke family who read my blog-
"Dallin's going to be on the weird side of the family....like Uncle Jim."

A joint effort by Dallin & Ben at writing lyrics for a song-
When you're sitting on the john 
and all the paper's gone,
be a man......use your hand. 

Perfection at rest. 

And last of all, how do you know when you use coupons maybe a little too much? When you are driving home from a shopping trip at Wal-Mart where you bought some Halloween decor along with your normal groceries and your 4 year old asks, \
"Mom, did you have a coupon for that Halloween stuff?"
"No."
"Then why did we buy it?!"

A Few More...

Just a couple of Kid-isms that recently happened and one that I forgot in the last batch.


Ben- "I wish I had really long, puffy hair."
Me- Why in the world would you want really long, puffy hair?"
Ben- "Cause then I'd have a built in pillow."

Ben trying out what really long, puffy hair would be like with Richard's travel pillow.

A conversation with Dallin after he listened to me tell a neighbor about a time Ashton got lost and I thought he'd been kidnapped.
Dallin- "I remember when that happened. I must have been really little, but I still remember it."
Me- "Sorry, dude, you weren't born yet. You were still in my tummy."
Dallin- "Well, then I must have been watching through your belly button 'cause I remember it!"



A bit of info you need to know about this next one- I am not a fan of the really tight T-shirt trend. They are all well and fine if you have the figure to wear them, which about 90% of the population do not- including myself. I don't really want to look at my own rolls and bulges and figure that more than likely, no one else does either. So the majority of my shirts are loose and probably unfashionable, but I don't care. The other day I pulled out my flag T-shirt to try on; it's one of the clingier shirts I own, but I was feeling pretty bulge free and thought it was loose enough to get away with .

I thought wrong.... according to Emma.

Emma- (While patting my tummy) "You look like you're going to have a baby!"
Me- "Are you saying I'm fat?"
Emma- "Yep, really, REALLY fat!

I guess I need some more core work and a new flag shirt.

Or perhaps just a new daughter.

 Just kidding...kind of. ;)

Kid-isms

If you are reading this then my gamble was successful. I have been experiencing technical difficulties with my computer that involve weird noises and smoke! Obviously, I have been hesitant to use it, and have been using my e-reader for the majority of my electronic communication. But, as amazing as it is, it can't do everything (or at least very well) so if I successfully post these few kid-isms you'll know that my computer worked without creating a campfire in my lap!

Yeah, I'm still going to have it checked out. Sorry, no smores for you.

Dallin Said...

"We had a substitute in library today, so we went outside and drew pictures with sidewalk chalk. But she wouldn't let us write words- not even Jimmer or BYU, so I just drew a bunny with 2 chainsaws."

"Dad, did they even have cars in Spain when you were on your mission?"

"Mom, I need a picture of myself to put in my room."

Ben-isms

While hiking up the mountain on the trail to the 'Y'- "Why don't they get rid of all these rocks?"

*Singing what he learned in Primary* "Praise to the Man who commuted with Jehovah..."

Emma's Three Sense

"I think Daddy should be the prophet when he grows up....no, no, the ice cream man!"

Emma: "Have you always been a mommy?"
Me: "No. I became a mommy after I grew up and married daddy."
Emma: "And then you moved here and I came to your porch?"
In my head- "Yeah, something like that. Something just like that...

Why Do We Spend The Money?

As a parent it is natural to want to provide well for your child. You want to provide them with comfortable basics and some of the frivolous wants you weren't fortunate to have as a child. You work hard to give them what they need and worry that you aren't providing enough or the right things. But then you experience your first child's Christmas when they play more with the wrapping and box than the actual toy that came in it and you learn a valuable lesson and ask yourself, "Why do we spend the money?"

I found myself asking this very question last night as I went in to make a final check on the boys and found this...

Why spend money on a comfortable bed and mattress when a cheap cardboard box will do?

Benism: The Wasp

Today Ben found a wasp trying to make its way into our house. He couldn't have that nasty thing getting in where it might sting us, so he took it upon himself to annihilate it- with a squirt gun. What else?

I worried he would end up just really ticking it off and instead of worrying about getting stung in the house he would need to start worrying about getting stung in the yard. But come to find out, Ben is a pretty good shot. He had that wasp on the ground in no time where I swiftly stepped on it. (Is it just me or are there a lot of posts about dead animals lately?)

Anyways, I forgot all about the wasp until tonight at bedtime when Ben mentioned that he needed to tell me something. As he led me into another room away from eavesdropping siblings, I wondered what horrible thing he was going to confess to doing now. I was surprisingly somewhat relieved when I knelt down to look into his eyes and he confessed in a whisper,

"You remember that wasp we killed today? I 'accidently' touched it with my mouth."

???

CPR perhaps?

Maybe he felt bad and tried to kiss it better?

Don't ask... because I didn't either. It has been one of those days and I didn't think I could handle the real answer.

But apparently, it is definitely something that needs confessing to your mom. 

A Baptism & Chocolate...or is it A Baptism by Chocolate?

On Saturday, our friends the Rubows, invited us to their son, Levi's baptism. Levi is quite the special kid and because of his sheer excitement at the prospect of being baptized coupled with his exclamation of "That was fun!" as he was raised out of the water, there was a sweet spirit in that room packed with friends and family that was undeniable. It was such a sweet feeling that I think many on looking eyes couldn't help but become damp at the grin that spread across Levi's innocent face. It was one of those moments you feel blessed to have been there to witness such complete joy.

Thank You Rubow Family, for allowing us to be part of such a great day.

Following Levi's baptism and confirmation, the Rubows also treated everyone to lunch- and man, did they put on a spread! Specifically so, because there really seemed to be quite an emphasis on the dessert course- my favorite...and apparently Benjamin's too.

It was our turn to dish our plates and even though Richard had a plate to fill  for Ben with lunch items such as the BBQ pork sandwhich, chips and veggies, Ben had his own plate and a different idea what his lunch should be.

He bypassed the lunch table and headed straight for the dessert table. Now, I'm not sure how it happened or who even dished it for him, but he wound up with a huge piece of Texas sheet cake, a gigantic slice of chocolate cake that could only be described as "Death by Chocolate," and a sliver of a chocolate cheesecake that filled the entire void of a 9 inch dinner plate! I think I gained 5 pounds just by looking at it!

He didn't even bother to get a fork or spoon, he just sat down and started licking! Fearing the onslaught of a "show me how the piggies eat" moment, I quickly got him a utensil and he proceeded to shovel chocolately dessert heaven into his mouth, but not before he got it on his chin, cheeks, nose and new Easter church outfit.

It was funny.

I have to admit, I should have been repulsed by his manners or lack there of, as I think the older lady who unfortunately had the misfortune of sitting across from us was, but I couldn't resist seeing the utter enjoyment on and all over his face.

We did give him a napkin and I wished I had captured his freckled face smeared with chocolate before it was wiped somewhat clean, but of course, I had left my camera at home. That's when I remembered seeing my friend Jason, there with a bag slung over his shoulder. Since he is a photographer and not exactly the type to carry around a man-purse, I was hoping that bag contained his camera and he would be willing to snap a shot of Ben for me. 

He readily obliged and even took a break from his own dessert to not only snap one shot, but a series of Ben eating his chocolate cake.

He even got him to grin so big that choclately goo was spilling out from where Ben's front teeth should be and between his lips- absolutely adorable!

Perhaps, it's a smile only a mom could love.... and perhaps not... because the unfortunate older lady was smiling too... until Ben regurgitated the chocolate mass back out onto the plate.

I guess it's time for a Family Home Evening on manners or we'll never be invited to eat in public again.

 Thank You to the man of many names- Jason, Mr. Z, or Backroads Photography photographer- for having my back and always being so willing to capture the moment.

Benism- Hot Mama

Image by  www.goworkoutmom.com

Last week as I pretended to be a hamster and run on my hamster wheel, also known as a treadmill, Emma and Ben entertained themselves and me by playing restaurant. They took my breathless orders for pies, cakes, and cookies and then proceeded to make them- out of play dough.

Yum.

When I finished my run I headed up to the living room where there is more floor space to cool down and stretch. Ben followed me and with my back to him he asked, “Mommy, when are you going to eat all the yummy treats you ordered?

Bending at the waist and reaching down toward my toes I replied, “When I’m done stretching. I need to do it while my muscles are still warm.”

Still bent at the waist with Ben behind me, I suddenly felt two little hands plant themselves smack dab on my gluteus maximus!

Those little hands then moved to my hamstrings, quadriceps, and finally, rested from their journey on my bicep.

Through my stunned fog, I heard Ben’s little voice confirm to me, “Yep, mom. You’re right. Your muscles are hot.”



Considering that he agrees that I do indeed still have muscles, I guess he is forgiven for groping his mother!

Benism- Closet Time

Today Mr. Ben decided to eat his breakfast in the pantry.

I was busy doing other things around the kitchen and wasn't paying much attention to his destination picnic, until he asked me to move his breakfast companion, a little, white, rabbit stuffy, down from the higher cereal shelf where he left it after retrieving the Lucky Charms box. I handed the rabbit to him, he moved his cereal bowl into place, and gave the stuffy a squeeze saying, "Okay, say my prayer for me." where upon the stuffy repeated some recorded apostate prayer over Ben's breakfast.

It made me wonder about the scripture found in Alma 33:7- "And when I did turn unto my closet, O Lord, and prayed unto thee, thou didst hear me."

I wonder if He still hears and answers the recorded prayers of stuffys in behalf of lazy 5 year old boys?

Benisms

If you know me you probably know my son, Ben. And if you know me and know Ben, then you know the source of frustration he can be for me. I sometimes feel as if he were solely sent here to be my tester of patience and pusher of buttons. But along with the frustration he is also very funny and sweet. He has quite a big personality for his little body and keeps our family smiling between his antics and comments. Because of this, I credit him with my premature aging. Thirty-two year olds should not have grey hairs or this deep of laugh lines.

I realized I have not been recording his little quips like I should. And my feeble mind is not good at retaining everything like it once was. "Momnesia" is settling in on me more and more everyday. And with it, these little experiences are getting lost along the way. So I have decided to record them here under the title "Benisms".
If you are my friend on Facebook, some of these may be repeats for you. I'm sorry. I just need to have them somewhere more permanent.

I hope you enjoy Ben, as much as we do.

We were cleaning up the church after a Primary Quarterly Activity and found a garage door opener sitting on a table waiting to be put away.
I picked it up and asked, "I wonder who this belongs to?"
Ben looked at me with 'DUH' written all over his face and said, "Well it's probably Jesus' since THIS is HIS house."
I smiled and suppressed a giggle. "Yes, maybe it could be."
Just then the kids who the door opener belonged to came back to retrieve it.
Ben's theory was gone.

I still wish I would've asked him what kind of car Jesus drove.